For the students...

So I've come to it. I'm just about to start my last week at school. On Friday, I will officially say goodbye to my kids.

Everything is happening really fast, and I feel like I'm not getting a moment to stop and think about it. That's probably good because I don't think I want to... I'll save the "being sad" part for the plane ride home. But on the other hand, things like this happen. I'm suddenly surprised that it's my last week, and I haven't really had it sink in yet.

I've been trying to avoid telling the students that I'll be leaving in August just because I don't want to be treated any differently by them (good or bad). A few of them knew anyway for whatever reason, but for the past few weeks, my JTEs have been letting them know that my last week is coming soon. And every time I hear it, I can only think to stare at the floor. I don't want to be arrogant and assume that they're going to miss me, but I don't want to look at those who I know are indifferent and feel like I've had no effect on them.

Everyday, now, I'm getting a student or two stopping me in the hall and asking me when I'm leaving. After the teacher makes the announcement at the end of class, I sometimes get a student or two that comes up to me and asks, "Really? So soon?" There's been this group of boys that I sometimes joke with outside of class. In class, they're rowdy, noisy, and not the best students. I thought they hated English and didn't really care about me. But just the other day, at the end of class, they came up to me, "Wait, so you're leaving?" "Yeah, guys." "Oh..." and they each decided they wanted to help me carry my books and materials back down to the teacher's office. This meant I had a group of boys walking with me, each of them only carrying 1 book, or a pencil case, or a rolled up paper (And the JTE with an armful of books and a CD player trailing behind). I like those guys. :)

I like all my students. What can I say? There are too many things that happen with them everyday to mention. There are way too many inside jokes and conversations and quick hellos and strange glances in the halls to type out. If there was ever a day where I was getting frustrated at anything, be it workload, other teachers, or just life in general, I would consciously make the decision to go into the hall between a class. Because I knew my students would make me happier.

And it worked. Every time. I'd wander over to my bulletin board to staple something up and suddenly there would be 5 kids waving at me and trying to practice English as they ran to PE. Or there would be a group of boys who learned the word "Cool" and would proudly shout at me, "Mr. Sandall! You... are... cool!!!" and await my reaction, only to shout, "Hai! Uso desu!" wink, then run off laughing. Or there would be that girl, Shoko, who I once told was always very polite in the halls, and since then is sure to give me a super-deep bow everytime I see her (which I of course return. It's funny to see a 6'3" American bow so respectfully ;) ). Or the "sex technicians." Or the pirate crew. Or that shy girl who used to lower her head when I said konnichiwa, and now smiles with a "Hello," everytime.

I was really afraid at the beginning that they wouldn't ever like me, as I'm sure most new teachers are. So I was content just doing my job and being there for those who needed it. I was in love with Japan, so it didn't really matter to me if I would grow on them or not. I couldn't imagine how it would be to be able to walk through the halls and almost instinctively respond to 400 Hellos, 100 Heys, and 20 japanese jokes every passing.

Now, I can't really imagine how it's going to be without it.

PS: My old principal who left in April, Mr. Higashi, came over to my apartment tonight to bring me a present and to say goodbye. Wow. I'm in shock. :)

Hisashiburi da, ne?

I feel like I've used that topic before... huh....

Anyway, so there's been a massive lack of posts, yes? Yes. Yes, there have. Ok, so life's gotten busy. I'm trying to see all of my friends and do all of these things I want to do before I leave in... one month. (It's getting more and more depressing each time someone reminds me... at this rate, I will be a raging ball of tears before I even hit the Kumamoto airport... k, maybe not. :D) On top of all this, I have... actual work to do... haha, "Oh yeah. That."

So it comes down to me having a lot going on, and having a lot to write about, but no time to write about it. Because if I take the time to write about one thing, I feel like I'm missing another.

I guess what I'm trying to say is excuse the sporadic posts, but expect things to be the same while I'm still here. I'll update a little here and there, but honestly, they may be few and far between in this final month. Hey, this gives you plenty of time to catch up on the long-winded posts from earlier. :D

Anyway... expect an eventual update on my Miyazaki mountain biking trip, my brother coming to visit, other concerts with Crossroads and Destined for Desolation (folk band and rock band respectively), and my potential Okinawa trip coming up in a few weeks...

For now, I will be heading off! I feel like a year's worth of not sleeping a lot is catching up to me finally... meh. :)

Oh, and keep checking back for updates on when I'll return and what I plan to do!

A Special Springtime

Spring is here. The cold wind has receded to the mountains until next fall. The bitter snow, long gone. As the students shed their coats and open the classroom curtains, the sun beats down harder and harder. This, too, dear friends, is the season of the Sakura, Japan's famous cherry blossoms. Seemingly every tree is bursting with the light pink flower on every branch. It is a sight to behold, one which draws visitors from all over the world annually. And what would the sakura and spring time, even Japan, be without one very important thing?

That thing, of course, is racism.

Ok, calm down. Let me break out the story. :D

This past weekend, I went to Fukuoka on a whim. Hey, I hadn't been there yet, and it's supposed to be a nice place (It was). Additionally, it has a Wendy's which is supposed to be delicious (It was... twice). Come on, give me a break, I haven't been there in 7 months. Anyway, I went with 3 friends. Two other american guys, Anthony and Matt, and one of my Japanese friends, Kana.

Since we were going on a whim, we didn't make hotel reservations anywhere. We figured we'd try our luck once we got there. We left a little late, so that was going to make things a bit more difficult. We arrived in Fukuoka in the mid afternoon and immediately started walking around looking for capsule hotels, or hostels, or cheap hotels, or whatever we could find. After many failed attempts, we started to realize we may just have to break into two groups for the night (since it's near impossible to find a 4 person hotel room without sinking to a Love Hotel).

Kana and Matt found a double in one hotel while Anthony and I waited outside (so the hotel clerk wouldn't see us in case they found something we could all sneak into later). Unfortunately, there was only one room, but there was a hotel across the street. Before booking, Matt and Kana went over to the other hotel to check there. They came out a moment later to tell Anthony and I, "Ok, they have two singles." We decided to split here and go check in to our respective hotels. Matt and Kana went back across the street while Anthony and I walked into the new hotel. Anthony approached the counter, "Futatsu shingaru, kudasai." (Two singles, please.)

The two men behind the counter fumbled with the papers for a moment but almost instantly, one of them looked up and said, "Oh... umm... no... no vacancy..."

Anthony and I looked at each other puzzled and said, "Oh... okay, thank you..." and left. Outside, Anthony said to me, "I bet it's because we're gaijin..." I didn't quite believe this, but didn't think it was too far fetched... we called Matt and Kana to hopefully catch them before making reservations to let them know that our hotel was now magically full. They returned a minute later just as confused as we were. We told them Anthony's hypothesis and Kana kind of rolled her eyes. Matt said, "Okay, Kana, let's go back in there." And off they went. :)

The next bit went something like this. Kana walked back in and asked the men, "Wait a second. I came in 5 minutes ago and you had rooms available. My friends, who speak Japanese, came in not two minutes later, and suddenly you're full. What happened?" The men looked at each other and said, "Oh... we filled the rooms... but wait, we just got a cancellation." Kana asked, "You just now got a cancellation?" The men replied, "Uh... yes..." "Yeah, that's a good story..." Kana said, rather pointedly. To this, the men only shuffled with more papers while staring at their feet, remaining completely silent.

Kana and Matt came back outside to tell us that we had rooms and to go back in. So we did. Once inside, the men were much more polite and cordial while we filled out the information sheet and paid. I got them back, though... I filled out my information in romaji. Those punks don't DESERVE kanji. >:(

Anyway, it was just something to laugh about. We didn't get too offended or upset because what good would it do? We just rolled with it and enjoyed the rest of our trip wandering around downtown Fukuoka (and eating Wendy's... did I mention that important bit yet?). I guess since Fukuoka's a bigger tourist place, certain hotels are less apt to let the "party-boy american" types in their hotels. That's all well and good, but we literally said two words to them and they made that judgement. Racism is an interesting thing in Japan... so many borderline, if not full-out prejudiced things happen that it's hard to list specifics. You just take it in stride and remember that's the whole point of the exchange programs: to knock down the stereotypes and internationalize both parties.

Don't get me wrong. I completely love Japan. I don't at all see this experience as a black mark that will bring shame upon this country for millenia to come. It was just funny and worth telling about. :)

And Wendy's was awesome, too.

Sayonara, Sannensei :(

Pardon the long post (I think it's redundant to say that at this point... :D) but I have to write this all down. It's been quite the week over at school. Since school is only required through Junior High, graduation is a bigger deal here than back in the states. One of my teachers told me, "It's probably the most formal event of the whole school year." Man, she wasn't kidding. I felt like such a foreigner standing slack-jawed in awe of some of the stuff going on while the rest of the faculty looked bored as ever... silly Americans. :D

Practice, Practice, Practice
All week, the sannensei have been out of school. They've been taking their high school entrance exams (tests to get into certain high schools) and showing up for graduation rehearsals. Oh yes, rehearsals. At least 1 period a day all week was taken up by graduation practice (On Thursday, we took the entire morning to run a mock graduation... complete with reading all the names but sans parents). Everything from proper bowing etiquette to music rehearsals to what sounded like death threats from the teachers promising much pain and suffering to those who dared to even blink.

I must say, the first corrrect "kiritsu" made me jump a little. The procedure is like this. As the students are sitting like perfect little soldiers in a row, the MC says, "Ichido..." (All who are present) then stone silence... then, "Kiritsu!!" At that, EVERY STUDENT jumps to their feet in a perfect single move. "Rei!" Each student bows at the waist and counts to themselves, "Ichi... ni... san..." and stands back up again in perfect unison. Finally, a last word (I forget :( ) and all sit again as a large, robotic mass. Seriously impressive. The standing up and sitting down happened in a fraction of a second with a fantastic, "FWOOSH" noise... imagine 400 students with that sort of discipline. I now fear them turning that amount of discipline on me. :( (not really. :D)

The Big Day
Anyway, Friday morning, everyone arrived looking their best (Yay for walking to school in a suit in the rain... woo) and the ceremony was underway. Once it started, not a single student spoke unless required. Any teacher would say that's an impressive feat, but these kids did it. Of course, the teachers had to sit at the front, so there I was in a suit sandwiched in between a couple other teachers terrified to even scratch my face with the thousand or so people all sitting out in front of us.

The Order of Events
So, the national anthem started off and I quickly felt like an idiot for not knowing the words. (Silly Americans!) Then it was on to the most ingenious bit of thinking ever. At my school (Probably throughout Japan) They put the conferring of diplomas AT THE BEGINNING! And even better, they have it down to a science and got through 200 students in about 25 minutes. Each student (seated in prefect rows by class) stands up and proceeds through a series of seven stations to finally recieve their diploma (think of it like being "on deck" in baseball). Like a well-oiled machine. But during this, only light music was played. The only other sound was each student saying, "Hai!" as their name was called. No cheering, no airhorns, no "YOU GO GIRL!" to my sister at her high school graduation. (ugh... flashbacks... :D) Completely solemn, formal, and whatnot...

...with the exception of two boys. First, one of the "yankees" ("bad students") rose his hand all super-genki-like when his name was called and cheerfully shouted, "HAI!!" much louder than necessary (Oh, you're not supposed to raise your hand or do anything showy...) which got a few laughs from the crowd. But he's a decent kid. he shows up to school and is a nice guy, even if he doesn't do any work or pay any attention. The other kid was later in the ceremony... this was a student that I had honestly never seen before. Naturally, he had no idea what he was doing so he caused quite a disturbance while getting his diploma. But yes. He still got his diploma. This boy hadn't been to school for almost 2 years and he showed up on Graduation to pick up his certificate. See, in Japan, it's a student's right to come to school. Students can't fail out of school. No matter what a student does, or how a student does in class, he or she WILL graduate. They won't get into a good high school without the grades, but usually the kids don't even care to go to high school and just immediately enter the work force. Anyway, later on, the teachers were complaining about how disrespectful those boys were. Yeah, relatively speaking, they were loud and obnoxious... but they'd fit right in at an American graduation. :D

Yet more speeches
After the diplomas were given, there were a series of speeches by the Principal ("Saikosei!! Kiritsu... Rei!!"), the Superintendant ("Saikosei!! Kiritsu... Rei!!"), the Mayor ("Saikosei!! Kiritsu... Rei!!"), and the head of the PTA ("Saikosei!! Kiritsu... Rei!!"). Something I should've mentioned a while ago is the process for approaching the podium in an assembly (I had to do this my first day... good thing I paid attention). The speaker stands up and walks to the side of the stage. He turns to the highest ranking people, bows, turns to the other side (the teachers in this case), bows, walks up on the stage, faces the Japanese flag, bows, and finally gets behind the podium, where everyone bows together (synchronized to the "Rei!!"). After the speech is done, you reverse the process. This all adds about 45 seconds to the beginning and end of each speech. Imagine that for EVERY SPEECH.

Take it away, kids
Now the student portion starts. The sannensei all stand, turn their chairs around to face the ichinensei and ninensei, and sort themselves into boys on one side and girls on the other. Again, super fast and coordinated... maybe 30 seconds or less. In complete silence. :D Next years student council president (An awesome girl!) stood up and gave a short congratulatory speech. The student council came up from the back and handed out greeting cards to each row of grads (while saying in, again, perfect robotic unison, "Omedetto gosaimasu!" (congratulations)). Following this, the ichinensei and ninensei sing their musical tribute to the Sannensei. Just a single song, but a good one, anyway. After that, it's the sannensei's turn.

Sempai, show them how it's done
They had a presentation prepared where 4 students came to the microphone and talked about memories from their school days. After each speech, there was a song performed to the underclassmen. The most striking song was Tegami by Angela Aki. The lyrics are about a woman giving advice to the confused 15 year old version of herself. The melody is gorgeous. (and I know the lyrics sound cheesy, but it was the only song that I actually knew before hand... SHUT UP!!) It was interesting to think of it in terms of the sannensei "passing the torch," so to speak, to the ninensei and ichinensei.

After the students finished (To the first applause in about an hour and a half), there were a few more short speeches including the parents thanking the teachers for their hard work (and due to my position, she was standing almost right in front of me... it was a bit unnerving. :D). Finally the grads recessed. The teachers rushed to the back of the gym to form a tunnel for the students as the rest of the audience applauded loudly and the band played Kiseki, another pretty cool song that just sounded neat in the context. As the sannensei walked out, there were obviously lots of tears, but countless smiles. A few of my favorite students shot me quick toothy smiles and the occasional inside joke ("Wakachiko!") on the way out.

Teary goodbyes
And that was the end of it. The parents headed home, the rest of the students stayed behind to clean up the gym, and the sannensei went up to their classes for one final, teary homeroom with their teachers. I accidentally wandered upstairs as they were finishing and got snagged by a few students for pictures, yearbook signings and all that. One of my favorite students actually gave me a bag of cookies with a card (written in English!!) and thanked me. I hate to sound like I've got a big head, but dangit, the whole experience really made me feel like I'm doing a half-way decent job. Kind of a, "Ok... so they DO like me... I guess I'm doing this right." Confidence boosts are good and occassionally necessary, ne? :)

Anyway, I'm gonna miss those guys. The pirate crew is gone, the japanese comedians are gone, the guys who pretended to be MIBs when I was around are gone (if I'll even remember.. one of them mime-flashed me with a memory-eraser-thing before leaving). I was just starting to get the hang of this gig, the students were starting to open up, and wham. They're out.

That's life, I suppose. Looks like we get to start all over again in a month. :)

Takusan no soubetsukai

It's March. Aside from all of that usual stuff that comes with this time of year, I've got some new things to worry about now that I'm in Japan.

There's an interesting thing about Japan. The business year (for lack of a better term) starts in April. At the very beginning of April, government officials get shifted around to new offices. Maybe it's to prevent boredom, maybe it's to keep people fresh on the job, maybe it's a way to evenly distribute good service, I don't know. Along with this, the school year also starts in April. It would follow, then, that the school year ENDS in March. This, ladies and gentlemen, is the midst of soubetsukai (leaving party) season.

As I've stated a lot in the past, I'm not a JET, but I'm lucky enough to be using the same program that they do meaning I arrive in August, I leave in August. I have a couple of non-JET friends who aren't so lucky. I'm in the exact middle of a 4 week run of weekly soubetsukai for a lot of friends. Two weeks ago, it was for Jaime who had to return to South Africa. Last weekend, it was for Julie, an ALT went home today for America after 4 and a half years, but has been a great friend for my relatively short time. This weekend, it's for Ryo, a government worker who is getting shifted to Tokyo next month (this is a much farther transfer than the average job... he's kind of specialized), which then leaves my weekly Japanese class/dinner group down one member. In a couple weeks, it's going to be for Jolene, another non-JET ALT who will have to return to Canada once the school year ends. All of these people are amazing. All of them have had second thoughts and wish they could stay longer. Sadly, though, that's just not how it works.

Now, as I said before about Government officials getting shifted around... Teachers are government officials. No one knows yet who will stay at my junior high school for the next school year. We won't find that out untill right before they have to leave. I've spent 7 months slowly building up an office rapport with the group we have now. It's strange to look around the office and imagine any other configuration of teachers scribbling frantically at their desks. I know of a couple that are leaving for sure. One may be a welcome departure, but the other leaves things to chance. Who knows if my new JTE will be better or worse than what I'm working with now? Who knows if they'll view my perhaps-crazy antics as good relationships with the students, or as distractions in their strict, lock-step classroom? And the Principal is retiring, too. Among other ALTs, I think I'm lucky. They always talk about how bad or impersonal their principals are. Mine is the opposite. Is my new principal going to be as eager to try broken english with me as this one is? Will he actually sit down occassionally next to me and practice reading english while looking to me for approval? I have no idea. Here's to hoping, right?

And of course it wouldn't be the end of the school year without Graduation. That time that seemed so far off back in August has now hit. I've spent all this time slowly building relationships with my sannensei. Real, honest relationships. The sannensei at my school are incredible people and I've enjoyed every strange joke, japanese comedian quote, confused expression (both from me and from them), and just plain conversation I've shared with them. All of a sudden today, I was having 2 very last classes. (Of course, we're going out with a bang: English Jeopardy game complete with cheesy game show host voice.) And these are 2 of my favorite classes in the entire school, and 2 of the most genki. One class actually asks the teacher when I'm coming on days when I'm not there. But, we wrapped up Final Jeopardy, and before we knew it, the bell chimed and I was standing in front of them for their last "Goodbye, everyone!"s, arigatou's, bows, and "See you"'s. It occured to me right then that this really sucks. I've spent 6 months getting comfortable in Japan. I'm finally here and these guys have to go. To say "Nuts," would be a massive understatement.

In the month to come, I'm going to say goodbye to more friends, more teachers, more students... and it's really sad because I don't know Japan without these people. They've all been "Japan" to me. Everyday, routine dictates that I will see these people at these times just because that's how things work in this new culture. Now it's all getting shaken up. However, I suppose with my new-found Japanese spirit, I'll be sad for the goodbyes but excited for the changes ahead.

After all. Thinking of all of these great people I've met over the last 6-7 months actually has me excited that I get to do it all over again for the next 5-6 months.

Doin' That Thing I Do

It occurs to me that I do too much. Well, wait, lemme back up. I do lots of stuff. But I do so much of it that I forget to talk about it. Wait, lemme back up again. I do a lot of little random things that I keep meaning to write about but keep forgetting to. Wait, lemme back up. I do a lot of little random things that I keep meaning to write about but keep forgetting. Can't end that last sentence with a preposition. That's just bad. Wait, one more time, I gotta back up. In that sense, "to" is a particle... the original sentence stands. Are we clear? No? Good. Moving on.

The point is that I get all wrapped up in trying to be poetic and artsy that I end up forgetting to write about some of the weekly or monthly routine that I have going on. Or else I remember near the end of the post and think I should save it for another time because the post is already insanely long and I should spare you. Well, ladies and gentlemen, now is that "another time."

Every other month, I write an article for the town magazine. The two ALTs employed by the town office (Tim and I) switch off every month writing a "Cultural perspectives" type article Actually, that's the name of Tim's column... mine is "Nebraskan News." Gotta play up the sister cities relationship, yo. I wanted to name it "High Times" because I'm tall, but I hear that one is already taken... *rimshot* ANYway, we're asked to write a short piece on whatever we feel like that kind of gives our perspective on life in Japan. So far, I've written about how hard working the teachers are, how I love all the little things about Japan, and the differences between Hastings and Ozu ("Golly! We're not so different after all! ^_^ " *cue music, close curtain, applause applause applause*). Since neither Tim or I have good enough Japanese for print, we write it up in English and send it two months in advance to be translated by our tantousha. This makes for interesting conversation when the article finally comes to print.

It's great because in the first week or so of my month, I get people asking me about it. Even people I don't know. Members of OIEO, the checkout girl at the grocery store, my students even asked me about it today. I said "interesting conversation" because... two months later, I've forgotten what I've written. And since I can't read the kanji, it makes it difficult to reference it. So when English speakers say, "Oh, hey, Colin! We read your article! That must have been fun!" I either have to pretend I remember, or look confused and say, "Wait, what did I say?" (Yeah, real sincere writing, obviously.) And the people I don't know (The convenience store clerk I see once a week when I buy a candy bar while waiting for the train) all of a sudden know who I am. "Etooouu... Colin desu ka?" "Hmm? Oh... umm, yes! Er... hai... *puzzled look*" "OH! Ano... anooo... Ozu *japanesejapanese* zasshi *japanesejapanese* gatsu!" (I'm still working on listening comprehension... gimme a break. :( (Oh, and that means "Ozu," "magazine," and "month," btw))

Actually, the scary part about it is that a picture goes with it... I have a standard picture that goes with it every month (Think of those Dear Helen, or Ask Judy articles and imagine my beaming face at the top), and also a bigger picture that I submit to help illustrate the article. The first month I had one out, some of my sannensei boys cut out my face and pasted them inside their pencil cases, proudly showing me and yelling, "O-KAAAAAAAAAAYYY!!" Today, I had a girl re-enacting my enthusiastic thumbs-up, leaning pose from the February article. I try not to get a big head about it, but it's hard when you're so awesome. ;) ;) ;)

Another routine I keep wanting to mention is singing... every single sannensei class starts off with singing an English song. The teacher picks them out every month and we belt away everything from Don't Wanna Miss a Thing, to Bad Day by Daniel Powter, to All I Want For Christmas Is You. Needless to say, I know most of these songs by heart now, like it or not. The best part about this is that the first day a song is introduced, we take the whole lesson teaching it. First, they listen and fill in the missing lyrics on a whited-out copy. Then there's the part where they repeat after me. If you thought bad 80's rock tunes had dumb sounding lyrics before (Mr. Big's "Be With You" comes to mind as a particular favorite), imagine having to stand in front of a class of 9th graders and recite each line sans music (this even includes all the "oh yeah"s and "baby"s, too...). Then for the last bit, all the students stand up and take a stab at singing it while we wander around like prison guards listening to them. Hey, I'll admit it. Usually the songs are kinda fun. :D (But if you tell anyone I said that, I'll deny everything.)

Yet another routine that I'm sure I've talked about, but not in depth is my Wednesday Japanese lesson. Now that I'm writing this, I remember it being featured in my "Wednesday" video. Anyway, they offer free lessons at the international center downtown, so I head over to hang out and converse in Japanese. This past week, I was able to get through about 70% of my lesson entirely in Japanese!! Of course, I was talking about basic stuff with a teacher who knows exactly what I've learned and thus fed my questions that would illicit responses I understood, BUT HEY PROGRESS IS PROGRESS!! Anyway, the real fun of the class is afterward. Class ends about 8:00 and then a group of us head out to dinner. It's cool because way back in September when I started, it was just Tim and I going out to dinner, but slowly, after inviting other people, there's now a pretty large group that heads out every week. Like it's a nice routine now. It's helped to be able to meet other students and teachers in the club. In fact, one Saturday last month, a lot of the members of the group were invited to a teacher's house for a sukiyaki party. Since it was good timing, Anna got to come to that, too. :D (Though she didn't have the guts to try the raw egg portion of it... something about egg allergies... whatever, wimp.)

A new routine that I've picked up kind of came about because of the dinner group. I figured now is a good time to admit this publically. Let me first apologize to those I'm going to offend by saying this. I'm sorry. It was peer pressure and I couldn't say no. Mom, Dad, I hope you still love me. Friends, please don't think less of me. But I have to tell you this. I... Colin Sandall...

...have taken up Ballroom Dancing.

I'll give you a moment to let that sink in.

...

I don't know. I've been interested for a while (Maybe after watching Adam Carolla and Shannon Elizabeth... curse my family for making me watch...) and one of the teachers said they were looking for more guys about the time I was looking for more activities to get involved in, so it clicked. Of course, the average age of the class is around 42, but it jumps to about 50 when you take me out of the equation. I'm the youngest person in the class by about 10 years. BUT STILL! It's a great way to meet some people! GIMME A BREAK!! :(

Right, well, I should excuse myself now before this post turns into an intervention. Hey, I can quit anytime I want! I don't NEED ballroom dancing!! :(

Later, folks.

Over the Hill

It occurred to me last week that I have been here now for a few days over 6 months. I’m at the halfway point. I remember back when a year seemed so long. And now, it feels like my remaining 6 months won’t be long enough. A couple of weeks ago, the recontracting deadline came around. I opted not to recontract, solidifying that I would, in fact, be leaving in August, as per the original plan. It’s not that I don’t love what I’m doing and where I’m at. I just have too many other things to do back in the states. Had I known it would be like this, though, I might have planned way back at the start of this process to stay for longer.

Of course, there was a lot about my time in Japan I didn’t know back then. I didn’t know I’d have a bigger apartment than the pictures showed. I didn’t know I’d have an awesome convenient store right across the street with fantastic service and even better bentos. I didn’t know I’d be placed in a lovely spot just kind-of-in the inaka, but still with a touch of big city life.

I didn’t know I’d meet so many people from so many different countries; Ireland, England, Australia, New Zealand, Norway… Texas... ... Alaska. I didn’t know I’d meet so many people from different parts of Japan. I’ve got great friends in Ozu, Arao, Mifune, Nankan, Tamana, Yamaga and many, many other places including Kyoto and Osaka. I didn’t know we’d be going out and having some of the most incredible nights I’ve had in a long time. ...I didn't know I would actually ENJOY karaoke...

I didn’t know Anna would be able to come visit and let me show her around for a few weeks. Nor did I know we’d be going to see Nagasaki together, standing at the epicenter of the A-bomb, or going to Beppu and ooo-ing and aah-ing over Hell, or going to Kumamoto and standing at the top of one of the top 3 most beautiful castles in all of Japan. I had no idea I’d be experienced enough in Japanese language and custom to get us around to those places without help (or get us lost so spectacularly… *cough*).

And speaking of that, I didn’t think it would be possible to learn as much Japanese as I have, and be as comfortable with custom as I’ve gotten. Of course there are miles and miles to go with it, but starting from absolutely nothing, I’m shocked. I didn’t think my anxiety and fear as I stepped off the plane would ever melt into sighs of relief and solid self-reassurances of “You can do this.”

Yeah, had I known all of this, sure. I would have planned for longer. Who wouldn’t? However, I do know that all good things must come to an end. I don’t want to make myself sick of Japan… Personally, I know if I stay any longer and try to recreate all of the magic from my first year, it would cheapen the whole experience for me. I planned 1 year, I have the mindset for 1 year, I’m going home after 1 year. Well... 6 months now. ;)

As a disclaimer to all you people interested in a program like this, don’t think this means I’m saying YOU should only stay for 1 year. By all means, you should stick around and enjoy Japan for as long as you like. You make the decision that’s best for you, just as I have. I’m only trying to give you a heads up: You’re gonna want more. ;)

Still alive...

Rest assured, good readers... I am still here... just that a lot has happened since I last made a decent post, and the task of sorting through the interesting bits and jotting it down seems to be a daunting one. I suppose when I have a sufficient amount of time, I'll camp out in front of the ol' laptop and smash it all out, but until then, just take a minor update and be grateful! ("Mooooore???")

For the moment, I can tell you that things are going splendidly! I was recently spurred to do a little more for that whole pesky "Exchange" part of my job, but really the spurring was what I needed to finally kick into gear ideas that have been floating around for the almost 6 months I've been here. Anyway, since I'm surviving the winter with no trouble, I'm feeling more able to shake off the frost and get it in gear. As a fellow ALT told me (as he was told by another fellow ALT), it takes about 6 months to get used to being in Japan. I think I'm there, so I'm looking at everything with an, "Okay, now that that's over, what can I do now?"

Things have returned to "normal" now that Anna's gone home (*tear*), soooo that means I get to look forward to more observation classes, special ALT meetings, and Gun activities. But that also means I get to look forward to mundane teacher's meetings I don't understand, students that drive me crazy, and classes that could go better (Though today... I made my sannensei into tanks... mwahahaha... good lesson). It might balance out, so whatev. :D

Anyway, I must be off. Soon, I'll get some substance in here!! And I've got some videos on the back burner... and a few more pictures.. A SMORGASBORD OF GOODIES!!!! :D

The Christmas Post...

Merry Christmas everyone. Boredom at work leads to this. Enjoy. :)

An ALT's Christmas

'Twas the night before Christmas and all through Japan,
Not many noticed, aside from one man.
A tall, lanky Gaijin with hair all a-flutter.
(And whenever girls saw him, they melted like butter.)

The students were nestled all snug in their chairs.
Some half-asleep, most already there.
He came to teach English, He came to teach culture.
But the students would rather be thrown in a mulcher.

"How?" the man thought. He must snap them awake!
A lesson so vibrant and big, he must make!
Then an idea took shape, as if molded from clay:
He'd take the kids flying in a rocket-powered sleigh!

A lesson on "Christmas: American Style!"
They think they know Christmas? he thought with a smile.
"I'll teach these kids Christmas, if it's the last thing I do!"
But be careful... this Christmas, that wish may come true...

Since time was depleting, he used all his power,
And he had that sleigh built by the end of 4th Hour.
He smiled as he fastened the very last clip.
(And dizzily wiped off the drool from his lip.)

Class time was coming, he hauled it upstairs!
He passed by full windows of terrified glares.
He thrust the sleigh inward, he ducked through the door,
He watched as they picked up their jaws off the floor.

His left eye was twitching, "MERRY CHRISTMAS!!" he beamed.
Just a moment of silence... then everyone screamed.
"Aww, don't be like that! It's just Christmas Day!"
he bellowed, while stuffing the kids in the sleigh.

They ducked under tables, and one climbed the drape,
But not a single student in class could escape!
"On Kenta and Rina, Chisato and Tengin!"
he wailed, as he reached up and switched on the engine.

The rockets were rumbling! Their screams turned to pleading!
But slowly they saw 'twas too late for conceding.
As they soared out the window, one fact became clear...
You teach English, you dolt! You're no engineer!

The rocket shot out in, at first, the right ways.
And he couldn't help smiling when their screams turned to "EH?!?"s.
Their flight was magnificent! A success to resound!
...but in 4 seconds flat, the sleigh dove to the ground...

The gaijin looked nervous, aware of his error...
His face changed to match with his students in terror.
Everyone screamed as they started to fall!
(The gaijin, of course, screamed the loudest of all...)

What was I thinking? he thought, with a whine.
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
The ground approached fast, then faster and faster!
The students all crouched to prepare for disaster!

SMASH! went the sleigh as it crashed to ground,
BOOM! CRUNCH! and other extraordinary sounds.
Miraculously, everybody survived!
A great deal of pain, yes, but they were alive.

Out in the schoolyard, they made such a clatter,
That other teachers came running to see what was the matter.
They gasped when they saw it, breath caught in their necks.
Students were crawling away from the wreck.

A pile of machine, twisted bodies and groaning.
It seems not a student was left without moaning.
Said the beaten-up Gaijin, as the smoke billowed higher,
"Merry Christmas to all! NOW MY LEGS ARE ON FIRE!!"

PS: I designed these lights... a guy I know has them set up in Lincoln and he was looking for help choreographing songs. He sent me the program and the song, and I got to work. This is the finished product (with a couple glitches in the video... like the pause in the first section... heh). ((Oh, flashy light warning... woo))

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GOHo_-E4XHw



PPS: I bought a cheap-o used couch. Now I have a more comfortable place to sit as I type this. :D

PPPS: MERRY CHRISTMAS, AGAIN!

Say what?

Greetings, folks. To make up for my week and a half absence, I've decided to do a quick second post for the week. Let's talk about Japan.

In Japan, there's something tricky about conversation. In talking with someone, there's two parts you need to know about: the tatemae, what is said, and the honne, what is meant. Japanese people are known for having indirect ways of asking you to do things. Just a by-product of being uber-polite. An example I read in one of the JET essays says that when a date says, "Isn't McDonalds kind of far?" you have to decipher if she means, "I was expecting a home-cooked meal," or "Take me somewhere fancy, you cheap-skate!" (unless MacDonalds really IS kind of far...)

I think I might have a grasp on this now, though I'm likely way off. Here are two examples to further illustrate this point.

Several weeks ago, it began to get cold. The classrooms don't have heat, so a lot of teachers started wearing jackets to classes. I didn't have a jacket appropriate for class, but the cold didn't bother me, anyway, so I kept up with my long sleeved shirts and sweaters. Then, a series of conversations...

About 4 weeks ago -
Teacher 1: Aren't you cold??
Me: No, I'm okay. These shirts are kind of thick, and it's not too bad.
Teacher 1: Oh, are you sure? The classrooms are very cold.
Me: I know, but I keep moving in there, so I'm okay.
Teacher 1: Okay.

About 3 weeks ago -

Principal: It is cold today, yes?
Me: Yes, it is.
Principal: Are you cold?
Me: No, I am okay.
Principal: Do you have a jacket?
Me: I have a coat, but it is too big for class.
Principal: Aah...

About 2 weeks ago -

Teacher 2: You sure you're not cold?
Me: Umm... no... I'm okay...
Teacher 2: Do you have a Jacket?
Me: I... no. Just a coat...?
Teacher 2: Oh. Okay.
Me: ...hmmmmm...

Last week -

Teacher 1: It is very cold today.
Me: Yes, I know. I should buy a jacket sometime, I think.
Teacher 1: Do you not have one?
Me: No, I have a... no. I don't have a jacket.
Teacher 1: Oh.
Me: *gulp*

Monday -

Principal: It is cold today. Do you have a jacket?
Me: ...... *sigh* I'm going tomorrow night to buy one.
Principal: Oh, good!


I thought I'd give this indirectness thing a try and see what happened. On Monday, my least favorite teacher (to put it lightly) told me during lunch...

Him: You should buy a jacket!
Me: I know. I'm going to buy one.
Him: I will take you! Let's go tonight!
Me: I can't tonight... I have a lot to do *indirect indirect indirect*
Him: What do you have to do tonight?
Me: Laundry, clean my apartment, upload some pictures... take a night off, I guess.
Him: You can do that tomorro! I will take you!
Me: Umm... I'll think about it *indirect indirect indirect*
Him: Don't think about it! Let's just go! :D

I don't have the guts to tell this guy I can't stand being around him outside of the classroom, but whatever. I shrug it off and hope he's gotten the idea. As I'm leaving school, I give my little "osaki ni shitsurei shimasu, otsukaresama desu!" and turn to pass his desk. I turn to find him quickly standing up and excitedly packing his things together.

Him: Are you leaving? Do you want to go buy a jacket?
Me: Umm... tonight... uh... I can't tonight. I'm going tomorrow night...
Him: I will take you now! I will leave early!
Me: Oh... uh.... well...
Him: I will sneak out!
Me: ...*gulp* ...how long do you think it will take?
Him: We will be quick!
Me: ...well... alright... *sigh*

WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ONE GULPING AND SIGHING?? :(

So a trip that would have taken me maybe an hour and a half by train ended up taking 2 hours and 15 minutes of awkward conversation and bizarre topics... all while me being afraid of getting seen by students...

...the point is, I have a new jacket. This sucker better be warm. >:(

Wafu Thanksgiving

I can see it now. The families all get together. They visit in the living room. They all play catch-up and see how everybody has been and rib lil' Johnny about the new girl he's asked to the Ice Cream Social. Grandpa shows some pictures, the guys watch some football, and suddenly, Susie comes running out of the computer room. "Everyone!" she cries. "Colin's updated his blog!!" The family scrambles in and huddles close to have their brains sufficiently rocked out by the awesomeness contained herein. (Roll credits, wipe tears)

Another Thanksgiving has come and gone again unnoticed in the world of Nippon. My Tuesday night conversation class this past week consisted of me explaining Thanksgiving to everyone for an hour. They were all pretty interested in it and those who have spent time in America during the holidays really enjoyed sharing their experiences about it. I think I gave the wrong impression though... I got a question or two that made me wonder if they thought that Americans are ONLY thankful one day a year... (Oh sure, both you and I know that's likely true, but I'm here to promote GOOD culture!) I also found out turkeys aren't found in Japan. A few of the ladies were shocked to learn that Americans can just go to a supermarket and buy a frozen turkey. They then asked me all the details about how to prepare a turkey... as if I've ever done that before. I may have made up a few details ("Okay, then you take the 2 liter of pepsi and drizzle it over the top of the turkey to brown it, but be careful not to let it soak into the marshmallow and steak garnish...")

How did I celebrate? Spaghetti. I made some spaghetti and some garlic bread and called it Thanksgiving dinner (Oreos and milk for dessert!). I guess that's the bachelor Thanksgiving Feast of Champions, because... yeah. It rocked. (And I feel like a champion!) Then just relaxed and watched a movie, and here I am, nuzzled in front of my brand new space heater (I'm pretending it's a roaring fire).

Wow, is that not the most depressing picture of Thanksgiving ever? Despite my description, it was actually an enjoyable evening. I'm starting to relish the few nights a week I have off that I can just chill out and relax. :D

I was thinking of being all lame and cliche and giving you the "I'm thankful for..." list (with a 'colin-ish' spin...) but I'll spare you the facepalms and confused head shakings. Indulge me only one or two. In short, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't missing home at all. Now's the time when all the ALTs and JETs start to stumble into the lower reaches of Culture Shock. I haven't collapsed or anything yet (and don't intend to), but I have had a few pangs of homesickness and frustrations. This whole "Japan thing" isn't easy. It's just a little more difficult than I thought, but I'm actually thankful for that (that's one). If I can be sentimental for a moment, it's really helping me to learn more about myself as a whole. I've always imagined, with boundless idealism, that I'd be able to do something like this and that it'd be easy and a cakewalk and all that, but to actually, finally, be here doing it is a whole other story. There's challenges I didn't forsee, "easy things" that weren't easy at all, simple tasks compounded by cultural and language barriers. The idealism slowly falls away, and the realism sinks in. Nothing at all impossible, but definitely enough of a challenge to keep things interesting, and to make me feel deserving of that moment next year when I can look back and go, "Well, I did it."

In the midst of the few difficulties that spring up, I don't think I'd be doing nearly as well if it weren't for all of you. My amazing friends and family have all helped to provide a pretty good support structure back at home. It's a massive comfort to know that I've got people to talk to at the push of a button, or with a few strokes of a keyboard. So, thanks to all of you. I'm incredibly thankful to have you all looking out for me (or at least feigning interest in what I'm up to. heh heh. (Oh, and that's two)). So again, I say... Thanks.

(...and somebody hand mom a tissue... maybe Katie, too.)

Kids say the darndest things!

I'd like to apologize in advance for the slightly inappropriate post you're about to read. All I have to say is "Eh. It's Japan." I usually shy away from writing about the questionably vulgar things on my blog, but there's starting to be a lot of them (and some downright hilarious ones, let's be honest) so I figured I'd lump everything thus far in to one post.

Imagine you were a junior high school student. Imagine you're a junior high school student being forced to learn a new language. Imagine you're one of those students that doesn't really care about the new language. Now imagine they put a native speaker in front of you who doesn't fully understand YOUR language. What's the first thing you'd do? Remember, you're a junior high student.

That's right. You'd look up all the dirty words and rude questions and start throwing them out when no other teachers are around. And that basically sums up the introduction of the group of boys who I work with during cleaning time.

Sure, they ask if I have a girlfriend. This seems to be a standard among students of ALTs across Japan. I don't always answer them, though, because it opens the door to many, many terrible things. That doesn't mean you can't take those terrible things and make them a learning experience, though!! Enter deflection procedures!

One day, a group of boys kind of wandered near me. I saw the bravest one bend over to have one of the smaller, smarter ones whisper something in his ear. The brave one smiled and looked at me. "Do... sex... you... uh... like?" Now, I know full well what he was trying to ask me. Evasive maneuver one, "hahaha. Umm. Eigo ga wakarimasen. Sumimasen! *deep bow*" ("I don't understand english. Excuse me/I'm sorry!") He looked back at his friend and I heard his friend almost whisper, "Do you like..." He tried again, "Oh... uh... Do you... umm... do.... do you like... eh? Oh, do yo-" I cut him off. He's not giving up, so let's spin this around!

"Oh, you're trying to say 'nani-nani ga suki desu ka?'" (nani-nani basically stands for "something something") He said,"Yes! Yes! Sex!" I ignore him and start the call and response. "Right. *ahem* Do..." "Do..." "You..." "You..." "Like..." "Like..." "Do you like..." "Do you like..." "Very good! There you go! Now just add in 'Tennis' or 'soccer' or 'japanese food' and you're all set!" At this point, I give him a thumbs up and get back to work, ignoring him. "Do you like sex?? DO YOU LIKE SEX??" I congratulate him again, "Omedetto! Yokatta eigo!!" ("Congratulations! Good english!") and start working. They soon realize I won't acknowledge that question. :)

Today was different, though. Another stock question these boys ask is, "Do you play sex?" This has come up a few times (boys will be boys, I guess) but today, they put a spin on it and completely blindsided me. There I was, sweeping up the entry way with some other students when this same group of boys comes over. The brave one walks right up and asks, "Are you a sex player?" I stiffle a laugh and play dumb, "Oh, am I a sax player? Like a saxophone? *mime a saxophone* No, but they are very cool, aren't they?" "No, no! Sex! SEX!" over-enunciating the E. Again, I say, "Aah! Eigo ga wakarimasen!" He smiles, knowing full well this routine, and says this little gem: "Are you a sex technician?"

WHAT??? You mean to tell me that this boy who usually falls asleep in class, doesn't know the answer to the questions, and is a general nuisence to the teachers went through the trouble to learn TECHNICIAN??? And he actually USED IT CORRECTLY??? I mean, heck yes that's a weird phrase, but grammatically, it's sound! I tried. I really really tried my hardest not to laugh, but dangit, it was just too funny. SEX TECHNICIAN?? That's like the name of some bad 80's song! (Note to self... write bad 80's song named "Sex Technician")

Of course, since I unfortunately laughed (hard... VERY hard) about it, the other boys picked it up, and all I heard for the rest of cleaning time was, "Sex technician! Sex technician!!!" It wasn't nearly as funny 10 minutes later.

That's just kind of how things go some days. I've heard stories of ALTs getting upset by those and getting defensive, but that only eggs it on. You gotta roll with it and play along. If you get angry, they'll keep doing it. So far, my approach of "subtly letting them know I understand them, but won't answer" has been effective. We still get along, and they've largely cooled it on those questions and slang (There are some words that have come up that are much worse, but I'll spare you). And after all, at least they're learning english. :D

Oh, and on another note, I was talking to a group of sannensei about the Mission Impossible movies today and one of the girls said that I look like Tom Cruise. I tried to ignore the crazy scientology ramblings of the New Tom Cruise and remember his dashing good looks. Sure, Tom Cruise and I probably look alike to her just like every japanese/chinese/korean person looks like Jackie Chan to most Americans, but I'll take whatever compliment I can get. :D

Schools and Responsibility

An odd thing happened last week. I got to school one day and noticed that the schedule had been changed. This isn't abnormal. Rarely a week has gone by where the schedule hasn't been outright mutilated in some way. Anyway, this time, first period was dropped and there was a student meeting scheduled.

We head to the gym in time for first period. All of the students are already in their neat little rows on the floor (It's like a crazy sea of black hair if you're standing in the back... I need to sneak a picture sometime) and the meeting starts. Since I, ya know, don't speak Japanese, I had a hard time following the meeting. I did pick up a few words, though... one of which was "jitensha" (bicycle). This word popped up a few times, so I figured the meeting was about a bike accident. We've had a couple meetings about things like this before in cases where a student from the school crashed into an elementary school student, or something, and they needed to find out who it was, so this would make the third meeting this year about that.

But it was different. The principal spoke for the bulk of the meeting, which is odd. During his speech, he actually got angry at the students. It was a pretty tense meeting. Afterward, I found one of my teachers and asked, "So... another bike accident?" He told me it was, and I said, "The principal seemed very angry... why?" The teacher explained the situation to me.

Apparently the night before, there were 2 bike accidents. In one, a student just dinged a car and caused some damage, but was fine. In the other, the student actually HIT a car and was sent to the hospital. He was alright, but he was out of school for a day. When he came back, he had cuts and scrapes and his arm was in a cast. It was one of my pirate crew guys, too. But he remained genki and actually got a little fame from teachers and students about it (Chicks dig scars).

Anyway, back to after the meeting. The principal raised his voice to the students when he was telling them to be more careful. Kind of the tough love approach. I asked, "Okay, so, did this happen in the parking lot, or something?" "No," he replied. "It happened when he was almost home." He explained to me that from the time the students leave home in the morning until they return home at night, the school takes partial responsibility for them. Even, in some cases, on days off, the students are sort of under the watchful eye of the school. This manifests itself in meetings and added warnings.

In America, if a student is injured or if something terrible happens outside of the school, the school might make a mention of it. But if it was off school grounds, it seems the initial meeting is the end of it from the school's standpoint. In a way, they kind of say, "Aww, that's too bad. Anyway, for lunch today..." Here, though, if something happens, the school is expected to hold a student meeting and explain the situation, then use that as a tool to teach more safety and such. The school is held somewhat accountable. Since I'm still figuring all this out, let me amend that by saying that it might be that they're only accountable to educate and take more precautions to stop it from happening again to other students.

The teachers seem to take a lot more personal interest in their students well being, as well. That's not to say that American teachers don't, but, at least at my school, it seems universal and, again, expected.

After the meeting, the students all went back to their homerooms for the remainder of first period and filled out a questionnaire asking their opinions on unsafe parts of their routes home. This all seemed like a bit much; to restructure the days schedule for this on the fly, to make up 600 worksheets on the fly... Regardless of how these students act to their teachers, it shows a great sense of community and, dare I be cheesy (wait for it... wait for it...), family.

Okay, fine. I'll rate.

Since I highly doubt any of them will magically stumble upon this blog, I've decided to give the skinny on the teaching situation I'm in... the good, bad, and ugly (you love cliches, and you know it). This, of course, comes after a particularly weird day...

So amidst the flurry of ramblings so far, you've probably gathered that things aren't always entirely peachy amongst my JTEs (refreshin' yer memory... 'japanese teachers of english,' or else my 'cooperating teachers'). Well, wait, lemme back up... amongst them, it's fine, since they rarely work together... I guess it's amongst me and them... and the support teachers. And not so much them... more me... because of them. See the "It's not my circus" post to get a sense of things...

Have I circle-talked enough? K. Well, basically, the scoop is that I work with three teachers: One for the ichinensei, one for the ninensei, and one for the sannensei. There's also a support teacher that "floats around" (more detail on the quotes later). I can safely say that 1 and a half of my 3 main teachers completely rock. 1 being the ninensei teacher. I love working with her. She's always got her head on, knows what's going on in the class, effectively teaches the english to the students, and does her very best to let me know what I need to do (AND SHE ACTUALLY USES ME AS MORE THAN A HUMAN TAPE RECORDER!!). She's amazingly hard working, and can usually be seen running in and out of the staff room with an arm load of folder bins, still managing to smile and say, "Hello!" as she dumps them off on her desk, only to turn around and toss some posters and a CD player at a line of students that have followed her in to help carry things back upstairs. Then off she goes again. I completely respect her as a teacher because she really seems to be in it for the students. And she's totally confident in her own ability, too... we actually have conversations outside of the required, "Ok, so for class 2-4 today, I would like you to..." The only complaint is that sometimes I feel like I let HER down, either by asking too many questions or taking up too much of her time.

Let's talk about the half, shall we? The sannensei teacher has good control of her classroom, it seems. She's always got a good plan in mind and usually implements it fairly well... even if I'm not necessarily included in this planning. The impression I get, though, is that she isn't confident in her english ability. Therefore, we rarely talk except for the usual dialogue above (I'm not retyping it... seriously, it's, like, 9 lines up there). Even if I don't always know what's going ON in the classroom (since she speaks mostly in Japanese to the students, other than a few routine phrases that shoot out every class period), I relax because I know she's got it under control. There have been a few times where she'll suddenly pass me the ball and I'll have no choice but to stand there blinking until I get sacked. One story comes to mind... I asked what we were doing for the next period, and she told me lesson 5-1. We get up to the room, go through the routine opening ("Hello everyone," "Hello, ___-sensei and Andy-s... uuhh... Mr. Sandall" "You're getting closer... Good morning, class."), and while the class is settling down, she looks at me, "I made mistake... we are doing 5-2 today." Oh... great. Ok, I can fake it... she won't throw random stuff at me, right? Wrong.

In retrospect, I should have realized that she'd want me to exercise the grammar point. I should have known that just by glancing at the book, I would have seen that the point was "His name is James, but his friends call him Jim." But since I'm still the new guy and still learning the way these teachers work and the way the books are set up... I was left with no choice but to have the following conversation in front of the class. "Mr. Sandall, what do you call MacDonalds in America?" "Umm... MacDonalds...?" And she just kinda stared at me, visibly thinking "Umm... crap... what do I say now?" She kinda smiled and tried again, "What do you call MacDonalds in America?" I reply more confidently this time, "It's just MacDonalds." Score, Colin. You TOTALLY got that one right! Again, the blank stare. She turned to a student and asked, "What do you call MacDonalds in Japan?" The student glanced at the book and said, "Oh! Eto... we call MacDonalds 'Mac.'"

I smashed my head against the door frame, trying hard not to laugh at my own idiocy. But the moment had passed. I knew the answer to every single question from that point on, but she never passed to me again for that period. :D Between classes, I could only laugh, shake my head, and apologize. She laughed, too, and said it was okay, since we didn't have time to talk about it. I said, "Yes, but in case you were wondering, in America, we CALL it MacDonalds. And we also CALL Kentucky Fried Chicken KFC. I understand now." And we laughed. But I nailed it that next period. (Congratulations, Colin, you just passed middle school esl.)

Anyway, we have a lot of miscommunications, but nothing terribly serious, and nothing that doesn't get sorted out within a few moments. ...which brings me to exhibit C.

This is the teacher I heard about before I set foot in the building. I had recieved a warning by way of Tim from the old ALT about this guy. Only I didn't realize how frightened I should be. I think at one point, I said, "I haven't seen enough evidence to really call him a bad teacher, per se..." well I take that back. I have. This guy is terrible. Sure, he's shown improvement over the time I've watched him, but not much, and he's still leaps and bounds behind the other staff. Speaking of other staff, remember the quotes from earlier? Told you they'd be back. The support teacher, the nicest lady in the world, "floats around," or at least she did last year. This year, she's been asked to go to every single ichinensei class to help teach. This teacher has had parents come to the school complaining about him, he's had the principal and the vice principal down his throat for as long as he's been there, and his inability to teach is what the support teacher told me one day was a "public secret." (And I really was completely serious when I said she was the nicest lady in the world.) All the other teachers know he's not good, but there's nothing anyone can really do about it.

So why all the hub bub? The guy speaks amazing english. Really, he does... he's probably tied for best english speaking teacher, if not actually having first place. Does that mean he's able to explain anything that much better? Oh, don't be silly! Of course not! Then that would be TOO easy! It's okay, though. To be fair to all languages, he can't explain much better in Japanese, either (The support teacher told me). He teaches out of order (how can they understand the dialogue if they haven't learned the grammar point yet?), he constantly misplaces things (leaving me to tap dance while he goes back to fetch his flash cards), he lacks control of his class, and even fears his students. I've seen students openly stand up to him in class and he does nothing... one student refused to work, and while he tried to get the student on task, the student simply gave him an insulting expression... this caused the teacher to do what any good teacher would do... er, wait, no... the... the opposite... my bad (I think someone flipped my note cards around). He just looked shocked, and turned around and went back to the front of the classroom angrily... He didn't say a word about it. In another class, I noticed a student was off task. Since I wasn't sure exactly what they were supposed to be doing (Nihongo ga wakarimasen, remember?), I pointed the student out. The teacher said to me, and I quote, "Oh... haha... yes. He should be working. You should tell him. I don't want to go back there. He... he sometimes makes fun of me."

I'll give you a few spaces to really let that one sink in.



Pick up the jaw and let's continue on. Anyway, routinely in class, the support teacher finds herself having to step in and reteach the lesson of the class. I can literally hear students going, "...ooooohhhhhhh....." when she finishes. Of course, this is after they've spent 10 minutes fumbling through a worksheet.

I suppose this post comes after a weird day... I had two ichinensei classes today, and both went terribly, and by that I mean "as usual." The teacher and the support teacher were all but fighting in front of the class while I stood off to the side being genki and happy, and continuing on in my little tap dance ("Not my circus... not my circus... not my circus..."). Later that afternoon during a free perioid, as I was trying to prep for my adult ekaiwa class tomorrow night (details later), they were in some sort of heated discussion in the staff room. I heard my name get dropped a few times, but didn't try to pick out any other words and just kept my head down. I went to the copy room to make some worksheets, and when I came back, the conversation had moved to my desk... they were standing at my desk, continuing the argument, and using my text book to point things out (it was the closest text book, which is why I assume they were at my desk... I hope... *gulp*). I found other projects to work on away from my desk and killed some time. I looked back about 5 minutes later and the vice principal had joined the fray... all still standing around my desk. Tell me that's not unnerving.

So about the time the period was over, they finally wrapped up the conversation and I was able to get back to the safety of my little metal fortress. But still... I wasn't able to talk to either of them the rest of the day, so I don't know what went down... nor do I think I want to know what went down. Just smile, nod, be happy, do your job, and all will be well. :)

Ok, so, aside from all this rambling, I don't want you to get me wrong. I completely love it here. Sure, there are some downsides, but that's the hazards of the job, I suppose. Every ALT has a "that guy" at their school, so I'm in good company. We all just manage and enjoy the fact that we're in freaking Japan.

...and marathon Scrubs on days off...

Things to consider before visiting me in Japan

Exhibit A: Yesterday was a pretty nice day. So, once I got home, I had about 20 minutes to go out biking. I figured I'd head south instead of north, like I usually do. It wasn't until recently that I even noticed there were houses back there. Seriously... an entire neighborhood that I didn't know existed literally around the corner from my apartment.

So I took off biking and enjoying the awesome fall weather and brought my camera along. It was a neat little area... a little more rural than the spots I usually pass on my way to school. I was kinda shocked that I lived so close to some older style houses with their amazing architecture (I'm a nerd, so sue me). But, as I said, it was a bit more inaka (countryside, rural... pretty soon, I'll stop translating this word, so pay attention, kids!) than most of the town I'd seen so far. I came to a crossroad and looked down to the right and saw a row of driveways emptying into it... but the cool thing was, running next to the street and under the driveways was an irrigation canal. Sweet, I'll go that way! I thought.

I stopped for a picture and cringed at the idea of coming home late, tired, and not in the best of driving conditions... and missing the driveway, only to fall into the canal... but still, it was neat, so I snapped the picture. :D

I biked down a little further, whizzing down the sidewalk, enjoying the breeze and loving the sunset. pretty much, I was in my own little world. And that's when it happened.

I looked ahead and saw one of the last driveways before that side of the street became rice fields. Above this, stretched between the light post on the other side of the canal and the guard rail on the driveway, was a pretty massive spiderweb. It seriously looked amazing in the light. So I got a little closer, all excited to take a picture of it. As I got closer, though, I noticed the big hulking mass sitting in the spiderweb. Inside of this pretty massive spiderweb was a pretty massive spider. I slowed down since one hand was busy collecting my jaw before it tangled in the bike chain. "...sugoi..." I thought ("cool/fantastic" ...ok, so I didn't think this... I don't think in Japanese... yet ;) )

I pulled my bike into this driveway and got out my camera. I was maybe about 7 or 8 feet below the web and had a nice clear shot of the spider. I moved around closer to the guard rail to get an angle shot that mght show off the web a bit...

...and then I looked immediately to my right.

You guessed it, folks. This driveway wasn't infested with one massive spider, but two. I jumped back a bit and gasped. Luckily, though, this one was in HIS web just chillin' there... though he was MUCH, MUCH CLOSER. His web was in the corner of the guard rails from the sidewalk to the driveway, so he was right at hip level, only about a foot off the sidewalk. A friend once told me that there are no poisonous spiders in Japan (a fact which I have since found out to be false... grrr) so I wasn't terribly afraid of getting closer to snag a picture. After all, he was just sitting there. So I got as close as I dared... maybe a foot or two away... and hit my zoom. Ladies and gentlemen, I present the monster spider. (Arachnophobes, don't click the thumbnails... seriously. You've been warned.)

First shot:


Second shot:

I have NEVER seen a spider this big without the protection of glass before... in fact, I thought these things only existed in sci-fi movies... Since it's hard to judge scale, the abdomen was about as big as the first 2 knuckles on my first finger, and each of those front legs were about as long as that same finger. He didn't move once while I was there, though, so that's good.

Since it was getting late, and I had to be home by 6, I decided to turn around and bike back the way I came. You know that "realization moment" in a horror movie where something suddenly happens to the protagonist and he begins to see the evil things everywhere? Like, the hero walks deep into a dimly lit house, and suddenly the light clicks on, revealing body parts and stuff that he missed on the way in, and he has to now leave the way he came, through a mountain of gore? Or else the hero finds a pair of sunglasses and realizes the aliens are all around us, and backs out slowly to avoid causing a disturbance (until he runs out of bubblegum)? Such was me with the spiders.

As I was biking back down the sidewalk, I realized I passed about 3 others of those things right next to the sidewalk. The webs were strung up between signs, posts, blades of grass... but those massive spiders were EVERYWHERE. I completely missed them when I first went down the road, but now I found myself seeing every single one, and gasping and unnecessarily swerving everytime. I even saw a different, but still massive spider apparently floating in mid air about 10 feet up. One of those big abdomen spiders with the short legs.... his body seemed to be the size of those rubber bouncy balls you get out vending machines... but he was so far away, and he stood out so starkly from the clear blue sky, that he seemed to be flying along. (The picture is on the photobucket... check it out. :D)

I made it back safely and managed to lose any spiders that may have been chasing me (I swear I was chased 5 or 6 blocks by a praying mantis once...) and immediately uploaded my pictures to my computer to confirm that, yes, they really DID look like that. And yes... it seems they really did.

I should note that this was maybe a good half mile or so away from my house, so it's not like I have these spiders just hanging around my place all the time. It was more of a rural section, and I have yet to see one indoors... hopefully it stays that way... And I've even had people tell me, "Oh, it's just a garden/banana spider. We have those all over where I'm from!" Well, SO WHAT!!! We don't have these in Nebraska! "Garden spider" to me is a little fuzzy thing the size of a quarter that just hangs out like "sup?" in your garden, happily eating flies and tiny insects and not threatening the destruction of an entire small japanese town.

Yeah, I see spiders all the time here. They're seen as guardians of the home, and I guess it's bad luck to kill them... I don't have any in my house (that I know of... *shudder*) but the steps going downstairs outside have a few that hang out there all the time (The fuzzy one is named Nigel). I was a little scared of spiders before getting over here... but you just kinda get used to them.

But still... I don't think anything could have prepared me for walking into this massive arachnid den (though it WAS cool lookin').

I looked up and I was suddenly in a meeting...

Really. I did. It was crazy. One minute, I'm pouring over a language book, and suddenly I notice only one person's talking. I look up and see every teacher is suddenly back in the room and everyone's watching this lady. ...oops. :-D

I enjoyed a nice long weekend. We had Monday off. And I apologize for not wishing any of you a "Happy Respect for the Aged Day." (Especially some of you...) That's right. You Americans can have your labor day off when I'm in school, but we'll take our Respect for the Aged Day.

The apartment is finally clean, and I think I'm shooing out the last of the stink left behind by my predecessor (You think I'm being harsh, but how would YOU feel if you found random open bags of food with expiration dates from BEFORE THE PREDECESSOR GOT HERE? That's right. That means they're from HIS predecessor... and I can only deduce that he didn't once clean the kitchen.) The kitchen looks nicer, and I'm really starting to feel like the place is mine now. Like, I'm shaking that "guest in your own house" feeling. And I bought a rice cooker. That helps. Cooking in your own kitchen is nice. Helps you feel more at home. And it's a nice rice cooker. I'm excited. (Did I mention it's a snazzy rice cooker? (Because it is.))

Not a lot has been happening, school-wise. A couple of mutilated weeks... trips last week, testing this week. Makes for a very bored Colin. When I'm not studying Japanese, I'm reading and re-reading JET journals (and fighting sleep... shhh). Though it does give me time to think. And this time, it's about...

Classroom management.

Ok, so last week, I had this idea for a blog entry about how the students aren't really controlled... but after further observation, it's turning out to be only a single teacher, or 2... so, how about a universal oddity, hmm?

Boys and Girls think the others have Cooties

This is completely true. The girls WILL NOT talk to the boys if they don't have to and VICE VERSA. Remember that awesome lesson plan I swore I had a few weeks ago for the elective english course? The games didn't work at all like I planned because they relied on everyone having conversations with each other (Like... you know... what happens in real life?). The funny thing is the teachers SEEM TO ENCOURAGE IT. I voiced my frustrations to a few of the english teachers and asked, "Do the boys and girls really not talk to each other?" The response is something like, "Oh... no, not really." "Is that pretty normal throughout the school?" I say. "Yes," is the reply.

I'm not one to want to jump in and change a cultural point or anything, but I really want to jump in and change a cultural point! And I don't think the students are really to blame. It's an age thing. I get that, even though it seems to be a bit excessive here. But I think that part of the reason that the lesson i had went the way it did was because the students weren't expected to communicate with the opposite sex. By that I mean, even though it was part of the activity and the lesson that day, the teacher recommended (in the middle of class while trying to play...) that I modify the game so that they can separate. We tried... and... well... things happened the way they happened. :)

That's been a big thing for me, though. Anyone who knows me knows that I sometimes get a little antsy and want to "fix" things (to a fault... I know. Get off my back!! :( ). Aside from the gender segregation issues, the students are a bit more laid back than I am used to, or than I would like. The students don't cooperate as much as I'd like. Some of the teachers aren't as... efficient as I'd like. And this type of a situation usually drives me up a wall (just ask anyone who's been in a musical with me... heh... my bad...).

But thanks to my loads of thinking time (all work and no play make Colin something something...), something occured to me a few days ago. I was sitting in a musical rehearsal a long time ago, getting aggravated at something or other... probably people's attitudes, or behavior... and I started to voice these concerns to a teacher of mine working with the show but not directly in charge of it (what, you think I'm insane? Don't speak truth to power!!). His response was how he'd been in different situations like that where he'd want to be in charge, but the only thing you can do is sit back, just do your job, and hope the rest works out. He said, "It's times like that where I have to say to myself, 'It's not my circus.'"

That's the epiphany that hit me last week and I'm feeling much better and relaxed. I'm not here to be a classroom teacher. I'm not here to whip these kids into shape and make them into SUPER ENGLISH CONVERSATIONALISTS!! (which is too bad, since I already designed the costumes...) It isn't my job to keep the kids in line. And it most certainly isn't my job to overstep my bounds and try and out-do these teachers. It's my job to be a positive representation of America (sorry, guys... I'm it). I go into the classroom, have fun with the kids, and teach them a few things in English. I leave the rest up to the certified teachers in the room. Oh, sure, I help... but I can't out-discipline the teacher. One of them said it best in our initial meeting way back on day 1 by saying, "I'll take care of discipline, so don't worry! We want the kids to love you! If they love you, they love America, and they want to learn English more!" So that's it. That's my job. Of course, I'll do everything I can to do that job well, and even try and go above and beyond as often as possible, but as for the rest of that stuff? "It's not my circus."

The Laundry Conspiracy

Ladies and gentlemen, I have solved something terrifying. So terrifying that the very core of Japan's infrastructure will be shaken at it's release. The moment I finish here and click "Publish Post," it will be a virtual Armageddon. In fact, right after I publish this post, I am immediatly diving out the back window, for fear that they may have already locked on to me and are tracing this message. Read on at your own risk.

It has been reported that Japan's economy, much like America's, is weak right now. America attempted to fix this with a "shot in the arm" approach, granting most of it's citizens stimulus checks. Japan, it appears, has another approach. I thought about this earlier today, after a night of 6 hours of sleep, during the long stretch of a couple hours seated at my desk coloring a map of the USA with magic markers. Some may say that specific area where I was seated lacks ventilation, but I say it preserves integrity. Alas, I digress.

For the 18th time, I reached down absentmindedly to pull my sock up a little bit, as it had been sagging. Strange, I thought. These socks weren't this big last week. And then it hit me. Why would my sock be so different this week? What have I done to this sock since last week? The answer is simple.

I washed it.

I put my socks through a Japanese washing machine. I noticed when I took my clothes out to hang them up that a few articles seemed a bit beaten and stretched. Sitting at my desk, I initially thought, "Rats. Guess I have to go buy new socks soon."

Eureka.

That was it. I had solved it. By mere chance, I had found out how Japan is fixing it's economy. They have made all of their washers default to a setting which may as well be called "Pulverize." You put your clothes in, and yes, they come out clean, but they come out missing strands of fabric vital to their function. This forces you to venture out into the commercial industry and buy more stuff. Bravo, gentlemen. Bravo.

I've done my laundry before, and nothing has happened, which makes this scheme all the more malevolent. This isn't a sudden process, or else everyone would notice. No, those geniuses at the Japan Laundry Nazi Headquarters (Note to self: not actual name. Look up real name later) had rigged it to work over a period of time.

I know what you're thinking. Sure there are other settings on my washing machine, but those diabolical FIENDS that created it have encrypted these vestment-protecting-tomes in some strange code that I CANNOT READ.

I can't be the only one who has found this. And if I am, you must do all you can to spread the word so that this doesn't end with me. Together, we must end this tyranny. Gambatte!

It's all about tha Yukichis

"Silly American! Water is for plants and animals! OCHA is for MEN!!!" or at least I can imagine no less than 4 of the teachers at my school saying this. I swear. No one here drinks water. Water is harder to get to drink than ANYTHING ELSE. Being a vocalist, this messes me up a bit. This country THRIVES on tea and coffee. This really hit me today, since I led 3 classes almost in a row and so I talked most of the time in loud, slow, super-american speech patterns. *cough*

The lessons weren't terrible... I had the sannenseis for a couple periods ("Third grade." the equivalent of 9th graders) and, surprise surprise, they act just like American 9th graders. I also gave the same lesson/speech to a class of ninenseis ("Second grade." Can you guess what "ichinensei" means?) and it went a little better... but not by much. Having never been in this setting before, I had no idea what would work and what wouldn't. Some things I thought would work and be interesting didn't because they were lost on the kids and were too hard to explain. (Seriously... who hasn't heard of the Kool-Aid Man... or kool-aid for that matter? (Kids without ADD, that's who. (Oh yeah. And Japanese kids.))) Other things worked well... so the afternoon was spent widdling out certain things and sprucing up others. Basically, I had to inject a bit more "fun" into the speech. All while talking in simple language... and slowing my speech down to below normal... ain't so hard, right? Ah well. Comes with the territory.

It was kind of cool, though. I got to help teach a lesson for the ninenseis after my bit, and it went well. And after school, I stayed with a teacher to help a student work on her english recitation contest piece. The kid was good, yo. (Take THAT, Ozu Kita Chugakusei!) We're working again on Monday.

I think what's most shocking to me today is that, as I said above, every student was just like your average american class. There are some super students who ask for extra homework and want to converse with you about the political situation in Uganda, and there are those who stare you down and when asked to say, "Good morning," they instead say something that you don't understand and probably don't want to. Granted, I've got a bit of Gaijin Charm working for me. I've been hearing (and noticing) that ALTs get a lot of positive attention and all that. Students smile and say hello even though they haven't had me for class yet (the girls giggle... they ALWAYS giggle... in gaggles... gaggles of giggly girls), other teachers smile and try their best to have polite conversation with me, everyone around town waves and smiles as I bike past. Even those students who would otherwise sleep than learn to say, "What type of pet do you have?" are more receptive to the local gaikokujin. I can see how it could also be a curse, but for now, I'm enjoying the fame. :D

In other news, I have my "welcome enkai" (enkai = office party) this Tuesday and they asked me if I could sing something, since EVERYONE IN TOWN knows I'm a musician (I've had dozens of invites to karaoke... oh goody). All I've got to work with is this lil' electric guitar that got left for me... so I have to find something to sing for an audience consisting of the mayor, my superintendent, my principal, vice principal, all the english faculty, the board of education... man. I was thinking Beatles, since everyone knows the beatles... but they're hard chords I can't memorize by Tuesday. They ask you to do some interesting things at your own welcome party, fo' sho'. :(

It's been a long week, so it's time to take a break... hooray for the weekend.