The Christmas Post...

Merry Christmas everyone. Boredom at work leads to this. Enjoy. :)

An ALT's Christmas

'Twas the night before Christmas and all through Japan,
Not many noticed, aside from one man.
A tall, lanky Gaijin with hair all a-flutter.
(And whenever girls saw him, they melted like butter.)

The students were nestled all snug in their chairs.
Some half-asleep, most already there.
He came to teach English, He came to teach culture.
But the students would rather be thrown in a mulcher.

"How?" the man thought. He must snap them awake!
A lesson so vibrant and big, he must make!
Then an idea took shape, as if molded from clay:
He'd take the kids flying in a rocket-powered sleigh!

A lesson on "Christmas: American Style!"
They think they know Christmas? he thought with a smile.
"I'll teach these kids Christmas, if it's the last thing I do!"
But be careful... this Christmas, that wish may come true...

Since time was depleting, he used all his power,
And he had that sleigh built by the end of 4th Hour.
He smiled as he fastened the very last clip.
(And dizzily wiped off the drool from his lip.)

Class time was coming, he hauled it upstairs!
He passed by full windows of terrified glares.
He thrust the sleigh inward, he ducked through the door,
He watched as they picked up their jaws off the floor.

His left eye was twitching, "MERRY CHRISTMAS!!" he beamed.
Just a moment of silence... then everyone screamed.
"Aww, don't be like that! It's just Christmas Day!"
he bellowed, while stuffing the kids in the sleigh.

They ducked under tables, and one climbed the drape,
But not a single student in class could escape!
"On Kenta and Rina, Chisato and Tengin!"
he wailed, as he reached up and switched on the engine.

The rockets were rumbling! Their screams turned to pleading!
But slowly they saw 'twas too late for conceding.
As they soared out the window, one fact became clear...
You teach English, you dolt! You're no engineer!

The rocket shot out in, at first, the right ways.
And he couldn't help smiling when their screams turned to "EH?!?"s.
Their flight was magnificent! A success to resound!
...but in 4 seconds flat, the sleigh dove to the ground...

The gaijin looked nervous, aware of his error...
His face changed to match with his students in terror.
Everyone screamed as they started to fall!
(The gaijin, of course, screamed the loudest of all...)

What was I thinking? he thought, with a whine.
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
The ground approached fast, then faster and faster!
The students all crouched to prepare for disaster!

SMASH! went the sleigh as it crashed to ground,
BOOM! CRUNCH! and other extraordinary sounds.
Miraculously, everybody survived!
A great deal of pain, yes, but they were alive.

Out in the schoolyard, they made such a clatter,
That other teachers came running to see what was the matter.
They gasped when they saw it, breath caught in their necks.
Students were crawling away from the wreck.

A pile of machine, twisted bodies and groaning.
It seems not a student was left without moaning.
Said the beaten-up Gaijin, as the smoke billowed higher,
"Merry Christmas to all! NOW MY LEGS ARE ON FIRE!!"

PS: I designed these lights... a guy I know has them set up in Lincoln and he was looking for help choreographing songs. He sent me the program and the song, and I got to work. This is the finished product (with a couple glitches in the video... like the pause in the first section... heh). ((Oh, flashy light warning... woo))

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GOHo_-E4XHw



PPS: I bought a cheap-o used couch. Now I have a more comfortable place to sit as I type this. :D

PPPS: MERRY CHRISTMAS, AGAIN!

Two new videos...

This is what happens when you put off making one video... you have to do two in a night to catch up. The first one is me being a dork on just your average, run-of-the-mill "Wednesday." The other is me being a dork at Kumamoto Castle.

...and you gotta love that Yoko Kanno music.. can't go wrong with Cowboy Bebop. :D

"Wednesday."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3OFpw42fVrA



Kumamoto Castle!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UbtmkgQQMuM

Say what?

Greetings, folks. To make up for my week and a half absence, I've decided to do a quick second post for the week. Let's talk about Japan.

In Japan, there's something tricky about conversation. In talking with someone, there's two parts you need to know about: the tatemae, what is said, and the honne, what is meant. Japanese people are known for having indirect ways of asking you to do things. Just a by-product of being uber-polite. An example I read in one of the JET essays says that when a date says, "Isn't McDonalds kind of far?" you have to decipher if she means, "I was expecting a home-cooked meal," or "Take me somewhere fancy, you cheap-skate!" (unless MacDonalds really IS kind of far...)

I think I might have a grasp on this now, though I'm likely way off. Here are two examples to further illustrate this point.

Several weeks ago, it began to get cold. The classrooms don't have heat, so a lot of teachers started wearing jackets to classes. I didn't have a jacket appropriate for class, but the cold didn't bother me, anyway, so I kept up with my long sleeved shirts and sweaters. Then, a series of conversations...

About 4 weeks ago -
Teacher 1: Aren't you cold??
Me: No, I'm okay. These shirts are kind of thick, and it's not too bad.
Teacher 1: Oh, are you sure? The classrooms are very cold.
Me: I know, but I keep moving in there, so I'm okay.
Teacher 1: Okay.

About 3 weeks ago -

Principal: It is cold today, yes?
Me: Yes, it is.
Principal: Are you cold?
Me: No, I am okay.
Principal: Do you have a jacket?
Me: I have a coat, but it is too big for class.
Principal: Aah...

About 2 weeks ago -

Teacher 2: You sure you're not cold?
Me: Umm... no... I'm okay...
Teacher 2: Do you have a Jacket?
Me: I... no. Just a coat...?
Teacher 2: Oh. Okay.
Me: ...hmmmmm...

Last week -

Teacher 1: It is very cold today.
Me: Yes, I know. I should buy a jacket sometime, I think.
Teacher 1: Do you not have one?
Me: No, I have a... no. I don't have a jacket.
Teacher 1: Oh.
Me: *gulp*

Monday -

Principal: It is cold today. Do you have a jacket?
Me: ...... *sigh* I'm going tomorrow night to buy one.
Principal: Oh, good!


I thought I'd give this indirectness thing a try and see what happened. On Monday, my least favorite teacher (to put it lightly) told me during lunch...

Him: You should buy a jacket!
Me: I know. I'm going to buy one.
Him: I will take you! Let's go tonight!
Me: I can't tonight... I have a lot to do *indirect indirect indirect*
Him: What do you have to do tonight?
Me: Laundry, clean my apartment, upload some pictures... take a night off, I guess.
Him: You can do that tomorro! I will take you!
Me: Umm... I'll think about it *indirect indirect indirect*
Him: Don't think about it! Let's just go! :D

I don't have the guts to tell this guy I can't stand being around him outside of the classroom, but whatever. I shrug it off and hope he's gotten the idea. As I'm leaving school, I give my little "osaki ni shitsurei shimasu, otsukaresama desu!" and turn to pass his desk. I turn to find him quickly standing up and excitedly packing his things together.

Him: Are you leaving? Do you want to go buy a jacket?
Me: Umm... tonight... uh... I can't tonight. I'm going tomorrow night...
Him: I will take you now! I will leave early!
Me: Oh... uh.... well...
Him: I will sneak out!
Me: ...*gulp* ...how long do you think it will take?
Him: We will be quick!
Me: ...well... alright... *sigh*

WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ONE GULPING AND SIGHING?? :(

So a trip that would have taken me maybe an hour and a half by train ended up taking 2 hours and 15 minutes of awkward conversation and bizarre topics... all while me being afraid of getting seen by students...

...the point is, I have a new jacket. This sucker better be warm. >:(

Peek-a-boo...

Look, I know it's been a while. I should have called. I should have written. I could have at least sent you a text message. But I'm sorry. It's inconsiderate of me to have left you for so long without even a warning or a word of goodbye. But I just needed some time to be myself. Some time to think, you know? How many times in this world-gone-mad do we find ourselves wishing that we'd just had that time to-... ok, you get the point. :D

December hit. With a vengeance. Oh MAN did things get busy. Along with the usual week-to-week happenings, piles of Christmas parties and concerts got thrown into the mix all of a sudden. I'll do my best to keep this short and give a day-by-day recount of what has been happening for almost a week and a half.

Friday, Dec. 5th - JET Christmas Party
The JETs have what's called Mid-Year Seminar where they all get together and touch base and have meetings for a couple days in the city. The week culminates with a big Christmas party (which, since I got the hook up, I got invited to). Friday ended, and I ran to the train to make it downtown in time. The venue was a nice, swanky lounge-area with a 7 course meal, christmas music, suits, year-thus-far slideshows... pretty fun night. The nijikai was karaoke, so always a fun time. (And yes... I wailed Grace Kelly... (poorly))

Saturday - Aaaahhh.
What? Can't do something everyday. Just got to relax a bit. woo.

Sunday - Christmas cards and Frisbee!
This day, I was asked to help some students make Christmas cards... was pretty fun. Immediatly after that, I was invited by a student in my eikaiwa class to watch her family perform at this concert (in the same building as the christmas cards... Awesome, since I'm lazy. :D). I was blown away. They were pretty dang good, and then her son played a couple solo pieces on his guitar. Oh MANwas he good! I bought his CD, so now I've got awesome original classical-ish guitar music to listen to. :D

After this, I biked as fast as I could over to the train station to head down to Yatsushiro. Ben, from Kyoto, was down in Kumamoto-ken to play in an Ultimate Frisbee competition with his old team, so I went to meet up with some friends to watch. After an hour and a half train ride (I still never get bored of these things. :D), I found myself at the field just in time for the final game. Really cool too watch... I've never seen this level of ultimate frisbee before (Yeah, you heard me, Martens!). Once it was over, we drove a few hours north to Kurume, where Ben's bus was leaving from that evening, and got some dinner at this awesome ramen place. More purikura, and then we said goodbye to Ben. Then, back another couple hours to Kumamoto, a train to Ozu, and a bike ride home.

Monday - Kikuchi-gun Christmas Party
Once school got out, I ran home and helped Tim make some gratin to bring to the pot-luck Christmas party we were having out at some little shop/cafe thing called Darius. We made it fashionably late (because we're oh-so-fashionable). The place was pretty cool. Small, perfect for our party of 10 people, and all dressed up for Christmas. After dinner, we sang Christmas music (actually, we all sat and listened to Holly rock the crap out of some christmas standards... :D) and called it a night. On the way out, Kana managed to get her car stuck up on a curb, so all of us Men-folk did what we do best around car trouble: we stood around staring at it and going, "Yeah... mm hmm...." until finally someone thought of a good idea to help her out. She made it home safely and her car still functions. :)

Tuesday - Eikaiwa Class/Christmas Party
Everyone brought some snack food, so instead of a class, we sat around eating and talking. We all asked questions about Christmas in America and in Japan. Then, I busted out the cheap-o presents I bought them for an attempt at a White Elephant gift exchange. (I just ran to the hyaku-en shop and bought anything from pens to christmas ornaments to a bungee for a bike basket...) I think everyone had a good time... last Eikaiwa class until February, so things might get easier for me.

Wednesday - Class, as always
Went to my Japanese lesson. Same as always... oh, except this week, I got partnered up with someone else, so I didn't get my own private lesson. It was good to review a bit, and also to have another person to have to bounce some Japanese off of. OH, and at the beginning of the lesson, I successfully told my teacher what I did last weekend entirely in Japanese. (Granted... BROKEN Japanese... "Friday... I went... christmas party... and karaoke... uh... uh... it was fun... " etc. etc.) Oh, and dinner that night was at a little mexican restaurant. Good food!!! Holy cow. :D (Yes, they have guacamole, Anna... though I don't know how you'd rank it)

Thursday- Nabe Party
Since Tim's headed off to Vietnam, Thailand, and Laos for a couple weeks, we decided to have a sort of "Good-bye/Nabe Party" for him. Basically, throw a bunch of food into a pot, set the boiling pot in the middle of the table, grab what you want with chopsticks, soak in some sauce, enjoy. Pretty fun night overall. Wooo.

Friday - Light shopping and a night off.
I didn't really have a night off, I don't know why I said that. I stayed at school until about 5:45 working on projects (and keeping up appearances, so the other teachers don't think I'm lazy and always leave at 4:30-4:45...) and then ran home to meet up with Tim. He had some shopping to do for his trip, so I tagged along out to Hikari-no-mori. It's always fun to wander around this mall, I dunno why. Oh, I bought an electric blanket/bed warmer thing that works AWESOMELY. We grabbed some dinner and headed home.

Saturday - Too much...
Tim needed a hand getting his bags up to the train station, so I had to wake up at 6:40 AM and tag along. The plan was, we drive up, I wait with his bags, Tim takes his car back, brings back his bike, he leaves, and I ride his bike home. I found myself waiting at the train station at 7:00 AM and sure enough, a group of my students wander in. The girls ping-pong team apparently had a competition that day. Of course, they all saw me with the bags and were like, "Oh, Sandall-sensei!! Wh-... uh... where are you going?" I tried my best to explain that I wasn't going anywhere, but to no avail. They looked puzzled, so they dropped the subject. A few minutes later, their teacher came in as well and said hellp, and they asked HER where I was going and told her to ask me in english. I tried again to explain (because I don't want the teachers thinking the lazy American is enjoying himself too much on the weekends and spending all his money travelling around... then they'd expect omiage every Monday... :( ). I hope they got the idea... anyway, I eventually biked home and crashed for a few more hours (in bed... not on my bike... heh).

A few hours later, I woke up to get ready to head into the city. The plan was to meet Kana downtown to help me look for clothes stores that work for tall guys like me and then finally check out the castle. (I'm the worst Kumamoto ALT ever, since I haven't even been there yet.) After all that, we were going to drive to Arao and watch another friend perform on her violin (MUSIC GEEK ALERT!!). Shopping was a bust, but I did find some neat stores. Turns out, though, in Japan, Big & Tall means pretty much just Big. The things that were tall enough for me were pretty much tents, since I'm a scrawny dude. Ah well.

The castle... THE CASTLE. Is COOL!!! I took lots of video and pictures, but yeah. Good times. And a lot of it is in english, so that's a plus. I saw less than half of it, though, since we were crunched for time.

We finally drove up to Arao to see this concert, which ended up being the town's Environmental Awareness party, or something. There were a couple of random acts before Julie's violin, but finally, she started playing. Holy cow, she's good. After that, a whole group of us went out to dinner at a "viking-style" restaurant (All you can eat buffet... which turned out to be all you can eat yakiniku. ALWAYS A PLUS).

A long drive and a short train ride back, and here I am. See? Now do you understand why I haven't been around? I'm sorry if I've seemed distant lately... it's just that I've had a lot on my mind. If it's okay with you, I'd like to still be friends... *sniffle*

*roll credits, cue music, yadda yadda*

Catch you all later! ^__^

PS: Oh, and I finally experienced my first earthquake!! Just sitting around at 2 AM and WHAM. Nice. A 3.5 says the report, so I don't know if that's big or not. Didn't feel terribly big and only lasted a few seconds. It was too cool for me to be scared of. :D

They did it... I can't believe they did it...

Imagine my surprise last week when this happened. I got a knock on my door, pulled myself out of my computer chair, half asleep, half sick, and I wandered to answer it. Upon opening the door, I saw a Japanese gentleman standing there with a small white paper in his hand. He looked somewhat dressed up (and me in my grinch pajamas and a t-shirt... leave me alone. I was sick (and they're oh so comfortable. :D )). Slacks, a button down shirt and tie, a sweater, and a nice coat. He started off in Japanese, "Ah, sumimasen. Watashi wa nani nani nani nani nani nani..." and so on and so on. I wasn't awake enough to process much, so I kinda gave an embarassed smile and said, "Oh, sumimasen... Nihongo ga wakarimasen... gomen nasai." He balked for a second and said, "Oh... uh... uh... My name... is... Sato..." and he handed me the paper he was holding.

Now, I've had door-to-door salesmen stop by before... but usually about the time they realize I don't understand them, they leave me alone (and go bug Tim). This guy was obviously different, so I took the flier and noticed a big christmas tree on it. "Oh... ah... Katakana... choto mata..." I started to translate the katakana and see if there was any Kanji I recognized. While I was doing this, he said something that I sort of recognized. I lifted my head... then it dawned on me what time it was. It was about 12:45 on Sunday afternoon. Wuh oh, I thought. Glancing back down, I translated the following: (read it like spanish vowels and see if you can figure this out faster than I did) "i-e-su ki-ri-su-to," "wa~do," "ku-ri-su-ma-su kai, (kai is one of the few kanji I know... roughly means "party")" and "su-te~ku se-n-ta~." It also had a time and a date on it... have you figured it out yet?

...keep thinking...

Ok, about the moment I put it all together, the gentleman managed to confirm it in english. "Eh... church of... Jesus Christ... of... eh... Latter..-" "Latter Day Saints," I finished for him with a smile. They had found me. I didn't know how, but they'd found me (Not that I was necessarily hiding...). Oh, and the answers above, "Jesus Christ," "Ward," "Christmas Party," and "Stake Center." (If you got all 4, you won a special decoder ring. Please see my sister-in-law to redeem them *angry face* (just jokin', Shannon. :D))

I was proud of myself that I was able to understand most of the sheet, though. And over the next 15 minutes, between his limited english and my bad japanese, I was able to work out that he was inviting me to the ward christmas party, what ward it was, when that ward meets on Sundays, where the building is, that one of the missionaries there is American, and a couple other random facts. The key bit of info was that he'd be picking me up at 8:15 AM the next Sunday ("Gozen hachiji jugo fun... raishu, nichiyobi." Ooooo, aaaahh... but I think that might be a bit off. I forget how to exactly say "Next sunday."). And over the week, I found out that it was my sister-in-law's fault! The church called her to see if she knew my current address, and since you can't really lie to church, she had to spill the beans. (Again, see her for your free decoder rings. In fact, tell her I said you could have extras!)

So, yes. I went to Japanese LDS Church yesterday. The ride there was kind of quiet (what with the language barrier and all... heh) though I did try some beginner english with Sato-san's son in the back seat. He's one of Tim's students at the other Junior High school in Ozu, so I figured I should test him and find out who's the better ALT (It's me. ;) ). When we got to the church, I stood in the lobby talking to a few people, being introduced around to a lot of people whose names I will forget, if I haven't already (Not to be rude... I just have a hard time hearing and remembering japanese names). Just a lot of really nice people all excited to meet me and try out bits of English. And I still don't know how to introduce myself... Last name, first name? First name, last name? English accent? Japanese accent? Most intros from me sound like, "Hajimemashite! Watashi wa Colin. Uh... Co-rin... Colin desu... er... Watashi wa Co-rin desu... eh... sumimasen. :("

Finally, the missionaries show up and I think I inadvertantly attached myself to the english one for the next few hours. He helped me through classes and translated where necessary. He helped clarify my introduction for the other people, too. Also, there's a pair of senior missionaries in the ward from Idaho, but I only met the husband. He was incredibly helpful, also. I feel kind of bad, though, because I know they've got REAL work to do, but they're stuck translating for this silly gaijin.

The first thing that amazed me was how alike EVERYTHING is. Procedure was all the same, of course, but I mean also the teaching styles. In what I think was the Gospel Principals class (I was hangin' with the missionaries, and that's where they went), the teacher did that thing where she puts the topic on the board and goes around the room asking what it means to everyone. EVERYBODY THAT HAS EVER TAUGHT IN CHURCH EVER has done that one! I had to chuckle a bit. (And yes, they had the doilies.)

Perhaps the best part was Sacrament meeting. Of course this was the same, but as a special treat, I happened to be there the day they did a Primary presentation. Heck yeah! I dunno, I always enjoy watching those (To further illustrate the "same-ness" factor, a few parents had to either feed their kid their lines, or flat out say the speech for them when their child buried their faces in their parents shoulders). In this case, though, it was neat to hear all the primary tunes in Japanese. Oh, and as far as reading Hymns, I actually was able to sing along! Music is written out phonetically (all hiragana and katakana) and since I already knew the melodies, I could focus on the Japanese. Though, a couple songs in, I got cocky and started reading both the tenor line AND the hiragana... go me. ;)

After the meeting, I said goodbye to the missionaries and rode back to Ozu with Sato-kyodai (Not Sato-san... I found out "Sato-Kyodai" is the equivalent of "Brother Sato"). I volunteered the rest of my info to the missionaries before going, also. The senior missionary gave me an information sheet about the YSA group that meets EVERY NIGHT at that building, so I might pop over a few times to see what's up. At the very least, it'd be fun to meet a few more people my age (or a little younger... heh... I'm older by YSA standards. :( ).

All in all, I wouldn't be surprised if I found myself wandering that way again on a Sunday morning... if only for the little sense of Home I got from all the routine. :)

Wafu Thanksgiving

I can see it now. The families all get together. They visit in the living room. They all play catch-up and see how everybody has been and rib lil' Johnny about the new girl he's asked to the Ice Cream Social. Grandpa shows some pictures, the guys watch some football, and suddenly, Susie comes running out of the computer room. "Everyone!" she cries. "Colin's updated his blog!!" The family scrambles in and huddles close to have their brains sufficiently rocked out by the awesomeness contained herein. (Roll credits, wipe tears)

Another Thanksgiving has come and gone again unnoticed in the world of Nippon. My Tuesday night conversation class this past week consisted of me explaining Thanksgiving to everyone for an hour. They were all pretty interested in it and those who have spent time in America during the holidays really enjoyed sharing their experiences about it. I think I gave the wrong impression though... I got a question or two that made me wonder if they thought that Americans are ONLY thankful one day a year... (Oh sure, both you and I know that's likely true, but I'm here to promote GOOD culture!) I also found out turkeys aren't found in Japan. A few of the ladies were shocked to learn that Americans can just go to a supermarket and buy a frozen turkey. They then asked me all the details about how to prepare a turkey... as if I've ever done that before. I may have made up a few details ("Okay, then you take the 2 liter of pepsi and drizzle it over the top of the turkey to brown it, but be careful not to let it soak into the marshmallow and steak garnish...")

How did I celebrate? Spaghetti. I made some spaghetti and some garlic bread and called it Thanksgiving dinner (Oreos and milk for dessert!). I guess that's the bachelor Thanksgiving Feast of Champions, because... yeah. It rocked. (And I feel like a champion!) Then just relaxed and watched a movie, and here I am, nuzzled in front of my brand new space heater (I'm pretending it's a roaring fire).

Wow, is that not the most depressing picture of Thanksgiving ever? Despite my description, it was actually an enjoyable evening. I'm starting to relish the few nights a week I have off that I can just chill out and relax. :D

I was thinking of being all lame and cliche and giving you the "I'm thankful for..." list (with a 'colin-ish' spin...) but I'll spare you the facepalms and confused head shakings. Indulge me only one or two. In short, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't missing home at all. Now's the time when all the ALTs and JETs start to stumble into the lower reaches of Culture Shock. I haven't collapsed or anything yet (and don't intend to), but I have had a few pangs of homesickness and frustrations. This whole "Japan thing" isn't easy. It's just a little more difficult than I thought, but I'm actually thankful for that (that's one). If I can be sentimental for a moment, it's really helping me to learn more about myself as a whole. I've always imagined, with boundless idealism, that I'd be able to do something like this and that it'd be easy and a cakewalk and all that, but to actually, finally, be here doing it is a whole other story. There's challenges I didn't forsee, "easy things" that weren't easy at all, simple tasks compounded by cultural and language barriers. The idealism slowly falls away, and the realism sinks in. Nothing at all impossible, but definitely enough of a challenge to keep things interesting, and to make me feel deserving of that moment next year when I can look back and go, "Well, I did it."

In the midst of the few difficulties that spring up, I don't think I'd be doing nearly as well if it weren't for all of you. My amazing friends and family have all helped to provide a pretty good support structure back at home. It's a massive comfort to know that I've got people to talk to at the push of a button, or with a few strokes of a keyboard. So, thanks to all of you. I'm incredibly thankful to have you all looking out for me (or at least feigning interest in what I'm up to. heh heh. (Oh, and that's two)). So again, I say... Thanks.

(...and somebody hand mom a tissue... maybe Katie, too.)

Kids say the darndest things!

I'd like to apologize in advance for the slightly inappropriate post you're about to read. All I have to say is "Eh. It's Japan." I usually shy away from writing about the questionably vulgar things on my blog, but there's starting to be a lot of them (and some downright hilarious ones, let's be honest) so I figured I'd lump everything thus far in to one post.

Imagine you were a junior high school student. Imagine you're a junior high school student being forced to learn a new language. Imagine you're one of those students that doesn't really care about the new language. Now imagine they put a native speaker in front of you who doesn't fully understand YOUR language. What's the first thing you'd do? Remember, you're a junior high student.

That's right. You'd look up all the dirty words and rude questions and start throwing them out when no other teachers are around. And that basically sums up the introduction of the group of boys who I work with during cleaning time.

Sure, they ask if I have a girlfriend. This seems to be a standard among students of ALTs across Japan. I don't always answer them, though, because it opens the door to many, many terrible things. That doesn't mean you can't take those terrible things and make them a learning experience, though!! Enter deflection procedures!

One day, a group of boys kind of wandered near me. I saw the bravest one bend over to have one of the smaller, smarter ones whisper something in his ear. The brave one smiled and looked at me. "Do... sex... you... uh... like?" Now, I know full well what he was trying to ask me. Evasive maneuver one, "hahaha. Umm. Eigo ga wakarimasen. Sumimasen! *deep bow*" ("I don't understand english. Excuse me/I'm sorry!") He looked back at his friend and I heard his friend almost whisper, "Do you like..." He tried again, "Oh... uh... Do you... umm... do.... do you like... eh? Oh, do yo-" I cut him off. He's not giving up, so let's spin this around!

"Oh, you're trying to say 'nani-nani ga suki desu ka?'" (nani-nani basically stands for "something something") He said,"Yes! Yes! Sex!" I ignore him and start the call and response. "Right. *ahem* Do..." "Do..." "You..." "You..." "Like..." "Like..." "Do you like..." "Do you like..." "Very good! There you go! Now just add in 'Tennis' or 'soccer' or 'japanese food' and you're all set!" At this point, I give him a thumbs up and get back to work, ignoring him. "Do you like sex?? DO YOU LIKE SEX??" I congratulate him again, "Omedetto! Yokatta eigo!!" ("Congratulations! Good english!") and start working. They soon realize I won't acknowledge that question. :)

Today was different, though. Another stock question these boys ask is, "Do you play sex?" This has come up a few times (boys will be boys, I guess) but today, they put a spin on it and completely blindsided me. There I was, sweeping up the entry way with some other students when this same group of boys comes over. The brave one walks right up and asks, "Are you a sex player?" I stiffle a laugh and play dumb, "Oh, am I a sax player? Like a saxophone? *mime a saxophone* No, but they are very cool, aren't they?" "No, no! Sex! SEX!" over-enunciating the E. Again, I say, "Aah! Eigo ga wakarimasen!" He smiles, knowing full well this routine, and says this little gem: "Are you a sex technician?"

WHAT??? You mean to tell me that this boy who usually falls asleep in class, doesn't know the answer to the questions, and is a general nuisence to the teachers went through the trouble to learn TECHNICIAN??? And he actually USED IT CORRECTLY??? I mean, heck yes that's a weird phrase, but grammatically, it's sound! I tried. I really really tried my hardest not to laugh, but dangit, it was just too funny. SEX TECHNICIAN?? That's like the name of some bad 80's song! (Note to self... write bad 80's song named "Sex Technician")

Of course, since I unfortunately laughed (hard... VERY hard) about it, the other boys picked it up, and all I heard for the rest of cleaning time was, "Sex technician! Sex technician!!!" It wasn't nearly as funny 10 minutes later.

That's just kind of how things go some days. I've heard stories of ALTs getting upset by those and getting defensive, but that only eggs it on. You gotta roll with it and play along. If you get angry, they'll keep doing it. So far, my approach of "subtly letting them know I understand them, but won't answer" has been effective. We still get along, and they've largely cooled it on those questions and slang (There are some words that have come up that are much worse, but I'll spare you). And after all, at least they're learning english. :D

Oh, and on another note, I was talking to a group of sannensei about the Mission Impossible movies today and one of the girls said that I look like Tom Cruise. I tried to ignore the crazy scientology ramblings of the New Tom Cruise and remember his dashing good looks. Sure, Tom Cruise and I probably look alike to her just like every japanese/chinese/korean person looks like Jackie Chan to most Americans, but I'll take whatever compliment I can get. :D

Schools and Responsibility

An odd thing happened last week. I got to school one day and noticed that the schedule had been changed. This isn't abnormal. Rarely a week has gone by where the schedule hasn't been outright mutilated in some way. Anyway, this time, first period was dropped and there was a student meeting scheduled.

We head to the gym in time for first period. All of the students are already in their neat little rows on the floor (It's like a crazy sea of black hair if you're standing in the back... I need to sneak a picture sometime) and the meeting starts. Since I, ya know, don't speak Japanese, I had a hard time following the meeting. I did pick up a few words, though... one of which was "jitensha" (bicycle). This word popped up a few times, so I figured the meeting was about a bike accident. We've had a couple meetings about things like this before in cases where a student from the school crashed into an elementary school student, or something, and they needed to find out who it was, so this would make the third meeting this year about that.

But it was different. The principal spoke for the bulk of the meeting, which is odd. During his speech, he actually got angry at the students. It was a pretty tense meeting. Afterward, I found one of my teachers and asked, "So... another bike accident?" He told me it was, and I said, "The principal seemed very angry... why?" The teacher explained the situation to me.

Apparently the night before, there were 2 bike accidents. In one, a student just dinged a car and caused some damage, but was fine. In the other, the student actually HIT a car and was sent to the hospital. He was alright, but he was out of school for a day. When he came back, he had cuts and scrapes and his arm was in a cast. It was one of my pirate crew guys, too. But he remained genki and actually got a little fame from teachers and students about it (Chicks dig scars).

Anyway, back to after the meeting. The principal raised his voice to the students when he was telling them to be more careful. Kind of the tough love approach. I asked, "Okay, so, did this happen in the parking lot, or something?" "No," he replied. "It happened when he was almost home." He explained to me that from the time the students leave home in the morning until they return home at night, the school takes partial responsibility for them. Even, in some cases, on days off, the students are sort of under the watchful eye of the school. This manifests itself in meetings and added warnings.

In America, if a student is injured or if something terrible happens outside of the school, the school might make a mention of it. But if it was off school grounds, it seems the initial meeting is the end of it from the school's standpoint. In a way, they kind of say, "Aww, that's too bad. Anyway, for lunch today..." Here, though, if something happens, the school is expected to hold a student meeting and explain the situation, then use that as a tool to teach more safety and such. The school is held somewhat accountable. Since I'm still figuring all this out, let me amend that by saying that it might be that they're only accountable to educate and take more precautions to stop it from happening again to other students.

The teachers seem to take a lot more personal interest in their students well being, as well. That's not to say that American teachers don't, but, at least at my school, it seems universal and, again, expected.

After the meeting, the students all went back to their homerooms for the remainder of first period and filled out a questionnaire asking their opinions on unsafe parts of their routes home. This all seemed like a bit much; to restructure the days schedule for this on the fly, to make up 600 worksheets on the fly... Regardless of how these students act to their teachers, it shows a great sense of community and, dare I be cheesy (wait for it... wait for it...), family.

"Do you like Japanese Food?"

It occurred to me that I haven't really talked about the food here. Maybe it's because I talked about it enough for the first few months I was here, I didn't feel like talking anymore. Every conversation with a local person went like this, "Hello, I'm Colin!" They'd say, "Hello! Are you liking Japan?" I'd reply, "Yes, it's great!" And they'd inevitably ask, "Do you like Japanese food?" Now maybe I got it so much from the schools because the ninensei learned that sentence right before I came... but everyone asks that. As if it's a greeting.

Anyway, in no particular order, here are a few of the new "old foods" I've gotten to try. (Seriously, a lot of this stuff has lost the novelty since I eat it about everyday. :D)

Okonomiyaki - First food I had in Japan. I've had it a few times since. It's referred to as a "Japanese pancake," but as another ALT pointed out, it's more like a "Japanese pizza/Pancake." I guess Okonomiyaki means something like "Cook it as you like it." (*ding* The more you know!) Basically it's a bunch of cabbage mixed with a batter that's sorta like pancake. But the ratio is something like 1:1, so it's it's own beast altogether. From that base, you throw in whatever else you want. Meat, vegetables, maybe even cheese... I have yet to try cheese, but that could be good. :D You fry this up, flip it, and then smother it in this sauce. Drizzle on some mayonaise, throw on some fish flakes (I forget the name of these...) and you're all set. It's pretty cool because the fish flakes sway around because of the heat. Dinner and a show! Woo! (Only imagine it as NOT disgusting... it's good, seriously!)

Sushi - K, first time I had sushi was in Japan. So sue me. If you need a description of sushi, umm... google it. :D Though I guess the kaiten sushi place is pretty neat. I wrote about it way back during my homestay, so I'll spare the details. Basically, it's a cheap, quick meal on a conveyor belt. Grab what you want off the belt and have at it. Count the plates at the end for your price, and get out. (I prefer my raw fish to be sliding past me, thanks.)

Sukiyaki - This, to me, screams Japan. Maybe I'm way off and it turns out it doesn't come from Japan at all, but whatever. It's Japan to me. :D You throw everything into a big griddle. And I mean everything. Meat, vegetables, tofu, there's some special sauce... when it's all about done being cooked, you crack a raw egg into a bowl and beat it (Single white glove is optional, moonwalking is not). When the food is ready, you grab chunks with the chopsticks and then dip it in the raw egg. Then... eat it. :D It sounds/looks/smells worse than it actually tastes! If you can get past the fact you're eating raw egg, it's actually pretty good! Slimy, slimy good!! unlike our next guest...

Natto - Tim swears by this stuff. Eats it for breakfast, lunch, dinner, bathes in it for all I know. What is this "delicious" thing called natto, you ask? Fermented soy beans. I'll say that again in case you missed it. Fermented soy beans. It's a little pouch of soybeans covered in this slimy, gooey, stringy mold-like substance. And yes... it tastes as good as the description makes it sound. I tried 3 bites, to give it an honest shot, but no thanks. It's not kind of the joke between me and my students. If I ever need to pull a random english question out in class, "Do you like Natto?" or "Will you eat Natto today?" Before I tried it, my answer to the "Do you like Japanese food" question was almost always, "Japanese food is delicious! ...but... uh... Natto wa kowaii desu (Natto is scary)." I learned that vocabulary just to talk about Natto. When I finally tried it for school lunch, several teachers asked for my thoughts on it. I learned more vocabulary through that, "Natto ga kirai desu." (I don't like Natto.) Hooray for educational food!

Kyushoku - "School Lunch." It's different things everyday, but I figured I'd give it it's own category, since it spawns it's own question (Right after "Do you like Japanese food?" comes "How is Kyushoku?"). I never know how to answer it because I don't know what "normal" Japanese food should taste like. Like in America, when you had a school lunch Pizza or Hamburger, you knew it wasn't good because you've had the legit stuff, the really good stuff, outside of school lunch. You were spoiled. You knew better. To me, kyushoku is just fine because I haven't ever had the "real things." It's cheap and convenient, so I can't complain. Except for the time I had a special salad.

Usually, Kyushoku has 3 dishes (and a carton of milk. Relax, mom): Bread or rice, the main dish, and a salad of some sort. I grabbed my bowl of the day's salad and started eating it. It tasted alright... not bad, but I was able to choke it down. Something tasted fishy, though, and I couldn't quite put my finger on it. The ichinensei teacher, who is always surprised when I like japanese food, sat down next to me and said, "Oh, you like that???" I said, "It's okay, I guess." "Wow, most Americans don't go for the fish!" ...and it dawned on me. I looked down and realized that what tasted fishy was actual fish. Little tiny fish that get thrown into random things almost as a spice. And they were COMPLETELY SATURATING MY SALAD!! Easily 50or 60 little tiny toothpick sized fish were just hangin' out in my bowl (Yes, they were dead... kyushoku isn't THAT terrifying). Brave Me thought, "Hey, I've already had 3 bites. It hasn't killed me yet." but curse that teacher. Now that I KNEW what I was eating, I couldn't stomach another bite. The lesson learned is that when people say "watch what you eat," they literally mean watch what you eat. Or else don't sit around people who know what you're eating. :(

Bento - Yes, this gets a category of it's own. The little conbini boxed lunches that get made fresh daily and may or may not be healthy for you (they're not really)!! I've had far too many of these than I should, but they're pretty good. There's a good portion of rice and usually a pretty tasty meat something in the main dish portion. There's this cool little fried chicken (tempura) thing with awesome dressing on it that gets made across the street. Always a safe bet. Or, if you're feeling more classy but still want a bento, hit up Hotto Motto. Bentos made to order, and slightly healthier than the conbini bentos (Hotto Motto bentos are to conbini bentos as McDonalds Double Cheeseburgers are to Big Macs...)!! There's usually a good variety spread out, but the trick is... umm... reading what each one is. I've bought an interesting bento or two. :(

Udon - An awesome little ramen thing, but a thicker, soft noodle. Usually pretty good, but again, there are tons of different kinds. There's some neat toppings that go on them, too. And by neat... I mean good. :D Great to have when you can get some.

Ramen - It's... ramen. Good good good. None of the instant stuff (The instant ramen here actually tastes worse than American Instant Ramen, if you can believe that... tough there is one particular brand that has a Fonzie-esque character pointing at his bedazzled leather jacket). The real ramen is delicious. There's this cool ramen shop I've mentioned in the past called Ajiman that has some great stuff. It's one of the popular hang outs in Ozu, so I expect to go there many more times. :D

Curry - Good ol' standby. Easy to make, and usually very good. Pretty filling, as well. Not much to say about this other than it's the ultimate bachelor food. I liken it to american pizza. When it's good, it's great. When it's bad, it's still good. I say this because it's shown up on Kyushoku a few times, AND IT STILL ROCKS! but speaking of pizza...

Mentai Pizza - "Fish egg pizza." yes. That's right. I braved the storm and tried it. Tim had to try some because he lost a bet, but I was man enough to try it on my own. Actually NOT BAD. ...I mean... for fish egg pizza.

Basashi - Raw horse meat. Nah, jk. I haven't tried this. Not a chance. :D

I'll wrap things up here. There is a lot more food that I've had... I don't always know the name, or the ingrediants, but it's usually good. Plus my chopstick abilities are actually not too shabby, so that's always good for some compliments from the people who ask, "Do you like Japanese food?"

I'm a rock star, what can I say? Every little thing I do is "ooo" and "aaww" worthy. ;)

How the Gaijin Stole Halloween

Let's face it. I love Halloween. I love Halloween an unnatural amount. I love Halloween so much that I... well, pretend I did something extravagant and over-the-top. That's how much I love Halloween. Needless to say, I was heartbroken when I learned that Japan doesn't come close to the great lengths the USA does in celebrating it. No matter! There was Halloween fun to be had by all!

The sannensei teacher ALSO loves Halloween. She talked about this a month or so ago and said she wanted to have some Halloween themed lessons. The other teachers mentioned this, too, but sadly, they didn't follow through. Now I think I mentioned all of this in recent posts, so I'll just cut to the chase and let you know how everything went.

Before my Japanese lesson last week, there was time to go shopping around, and we stumbled into this store called Don Quixote. Time assured me that they had everything, and that this "everything" included HALLOWEEN COSTUMES! Great, I thought. I'd already decided to be a zombie (since I tore some slacks on my bike a few weeks ago (Sweet! Free costume!!)), so maybe I would be able to find some accessories like make-up, masks, or whatever. Hanging from the rack, I found (cue trumpet fanfare) a pair of skeleton gloves! Ok, so I wasn't going as a skeleton. Whatever. Leave me alone, they looked cool. :(

I of course bought the gloves (and also some Halloween candy... woo!). The next day, we would be starting our sannensei Halloween lessons, but I didn't know if it was okay to wear the gloves. The sannensei teacher assured me that she'd be dressed as a witch on Friday, and that was all the persuasion I needed. The lessons that day went well, I think. I gave a brief listening quiz on the history and traditions of Halloween, and then we went into a Halloween mad-lib. Yes, I know. Mad-libs aren't funny. And if you think they weren't funny before, imagine how well they'd go over with a group that doesn't understand the language. As far as they knew, they'd just be inserting tab A into slot B and completeing the assignment, not really getting the joke. I was pretty nervous about it going in. It didn't help, also, that the mad-lib was written by a former ALT and pretty much sucked in terms of "bringin' teh lulz." ("it wasn't funny," for all you un-hip, non-internet nerds.)

I took it upon myself to write another one, at the request of the teacher, and it was... a little better. At least by contrast, maybe it would help the kids "get" a mad lib. ("Oh, you mean 'ugly Johnny singing into the creaky car noisily' is funny?? hahaha! Okay!" ...sigh... such is the mad-lib) Luckily, though, the mad lib went over GREAT!!! I read their creations line by line while the teacher translated. The bulk of the class laughed at the translations, while a handful chuckled at it when I read it in english (Good students!! Yay!!). I underestimated the power of Mad-libs + Japanese humor. In a society where a "comedian" equals some guy dressed in a tux and bowler tinking wine glasses and saying, "Yaaay, rennaissaaaance!" why WOULDN'T this be funny?? Anyway, the lessons worked.

And Friday, I got to wear my skeleton gloves... and scared the crap out of them. I walked into class, hands hidden behind my back, like I was naturally waiting for class to begin. They do the entire isatsu ("Good afternoon, Mr. Sandall...") and bow and all that, and finally, it was my turn. After having been in the class for 4 or 5 minutes, I finally fling my hands out while proclaiming, "I LOVE Halloween!!" Pause to enjoy the gasps, shrieks, and "Sugoi!"s. It was fun. :)

Friday night found me Make-up shopping... shut up. Shut up shut up shut up. All I could find was some eyeliner and white eye shadow, soooo... cool. Pale and dead looking. I used some red poster paint and chopped up my slacks a bit more and went as "Recently-turned-zombie-bitten-in-the-leg-by-a-crawling-zombie."

By "went as," I mean I went to the ALT Halloween Party in Tamana. People have been talking about this party for months, and since everyone loves Halloween, but no one in Japan celebrates, it's up to the ALTs to host their own fun. And fun it was. I saw a ton of old friends I'd met at other gatherings and met a few new people as well. People came from ALL OVER... like from all the way to the south of Kumamoto-ken ('sup, Cindy? Now that I know you read/stalk this... ;) ). Basically, the party was a blasty-blast (Yes, I quoted Dane Cook right there) and my costume actually turned out alright. Of course, there were a ton of other, WAY COOLER costumes (Giant Onigiri?? That's AMAZING!!). (It sucks because you can't see my mutilated pants on the picture... Oh, and I'm standing next to a Pocahontas and... any anime fans out there recognize the far right? :D )

That's all my Halloween rantings for now. but... just one last thing, before I wrap this up and head to Eikaiwa...

Monday, we had a day off. It was Bunka no hi (Or basically "Culture Day"), so no school. Tim had to make a run to Hikarinomori to grab some clothes and asked if I wanted to go along. I said sure, and made a quick shopping list. We headed out around 3:30 and wandered around the mall for a few hours, picking up random bits and pieces. I actually found shoes that fit!! (and-a... eyes that burrrn like... cigarettes...) I also picked up some workout clothes for the winter... since Tennis is probably going to go well into the colder months. :D I mentioned the prospect of dinner, and Tim said that there was this cool italian restaurant downstairs, but first he had to grab some coffee grounds.

So we wandered back over to Starbucks (In Japan... I know... their global domination is nigh) and he began sifting through the bags to find a good flavor. As we were standing there, we're all ofa sudden approached by Maki, a friend from Ozu. She's just there shopping, so we talk with her for a bit. Suddenly, Kana shows up also, just randomly shopping. This isn't terribly odd, since Hikarinomori is the hip, cool place to be (or something like that) and we were standing in a pretty high traffic area. To further compound this coincidence, about 5 minutes later, Miyuki and her friend Shingo show up, also out shopping. So we all stand and chat for a few minutes, and finally Tim says, "Hey, we were just headed to grab dinner, you guys wannna come?" "Hey, sure!" was the general response from the crowd.

We walked down a few floors to find the "fancier" restaurants and the 6 of us get a table. Oddly, they gave us 8 chairs... I thought nothing of this. They then brought out 8 waters. I think, "Meh. Must have miscounted." And about 5 minutes later, Nick and Mari (The Mifune gang) show up. "Oh, sorry we're late," says Nick. This is my first sign to go, "Wait, what?" and I start to put things together. Through the course of the meal, Nick and Mari start making jokes about birthday spankings since Tim "mentioned" my birthday was in a couple days, Kana and Miyuki mysteriously disappeared for about 10 minutes, and there's a lot of winks and short comments in Japanese... none of which I understand. Basically, I have a hunch. A BIG hunch.

Kana and Miyuki come back looking all suspiscious, and not a moment later, I notice the servers standing a little ways away all huddled around something. I hear a few flicks of a lighter and my eyes widen. They turn around and bring over this pie with candles sticking out spelling, "Happy Birthday!!" Everyone breaks out into song, and I just sit there with my jaw on the floor. Complete and utter surprise. My friends rock. :D

Yes, I should have noticed the string of strange coincidences sooner... but whatever. I loved it. Kana went through the awesome trouble of making a "cake" (pie) that was AMAZINGLY DELICIOUS (It wasn't "bimyo," Kana... I was joking. :D).

After dinner, there were talks of going to a late movie, but we thought better of it... and went and did purikura instead. "Puri-kura" = "Purinto Kurabu" = "Print Club" = "photo booths where you can add designs and print ouf stickers." 8 of us crammed inside one of the larger ones, took some random shots, and then went outside and drew all over them with the image editing stuff. I'll let the images speak for themselves. :D (And yes, I know my name is spelled wrong in that one... whoever did it, I WILL FIND YOU!!!!)

Busy!! BUSY!! (Lazy. :( )

"Ok, Colin. 50 words or less, what have you been up to?"

Not a chance, but I'll try. :D (Post edit: The pictures are from Fugendake... it was a mountain hiking trip)

I know it's been a long time since a post, but I keep finding other things to distract me (Such as watching season 2 of Dexter... holy crap, AMAZING show... but... rated R as far as TV shows go... sooooo.. yeah). Here's an attempt to fill in what all has been going on since the Kyoto trip! Annnnnnd GO!

Friday, the 17th, we had the English Recitation contest. The three groups of students got to compete with all other schools in Kikuchi with their english skits. I think overall, they did... well. Not exceptional, but well. My ichinensei needed to LIGHTEN UP more and be more ENERGETIC!! My Sannensei did fantastic, but there were just others that did better... they read this story about a girl who died from radiation from Hiroshima after the bomb was dropped... sad, sad story (but after you hear it by 5 different groups, it starts to lose it's touch. How many times can that freaking girl die??? GEEZ!!! (...Too soon?)). My ninensei did a GREAT job and got 3rd place overall!!! Something like 13 schools total, maybe. It was great, because there was another ALT that was kinda... nasty about it. Insulting of my students, and completely stunned about it when they won (and was very vocal about their opinion). Whatever. It's not about the ALTs. Everyone did a fantastic job and the students all worked VERY hard, so it doesn't matter who won! (Annnnd let me tuck away "teacher-Colin" for the night)

The following Wednesday, The school had their culture festival. Basically, it's a day of plays and music stuff put on by the students. The english kids did their skits again for the rest of the school (I had to stand in for an absent student... it got a couple of chuckles from the student body when they saw a line of students in uniform, and then tall, lanky Mr. Sandall following them). The koto group performed (I wanna learn to play), the taiko drum group performed (I wanna learn to play... I didn't know the schol HAD a taiko drum group!!) and the marching band performed. (I wanna play...) scratch that, I WILL play. I got invited by the director to join them for their March concert. :D Hopefully it pans out and I get to rock out on some drums for the first time in over a year. They played Take The A Train at the concert, so I can only hope I get to play some jazz. :D ANYway, the culture festival was kinda fun. I got to see the students do things other than sit in their desks and fall asleep during english class.

Day 2 of the culture festival was actually Monday. It was a choral competition. All of the classes learn two songs. One that they sing with the rest of their grade, and another that just their class sings. here''s the format, though. The entire grade sings the group song first. Then, each class from that grade takes their turn on the stage... and they sing that song again, just by themselves. So... I heard 3 songs (one for each grade)... 6 times. 6 TIMES. Ah well. In any case, it was fun to get to listen into a choral contest again. The poeple I figured would win won, so that's a plus. I also got to throw out some Japanese conversation with teachers I usually only say "Ohayo gosaimasu!" to. A few came up to me and asked what I thought about being at a choral contest, since they know I'm a music geek. It was kinda cool to talk music again, not gonna lie. :D

What else is going on? My wednesday night Japanese lessons are going well, I think. Last week, my tutor wanted to know about my kyoto trip (in Japanese), so we talked about that. I think I carried about 1/2 the conversation staying in Japanese... but the interesting stuff, I had to break into English. (I got sick of saying everything was "sugoi." Note to self: learn more adjectives.)

I also started my Eikaiwa class, English Conversation class for adults, last week. It's on Tuesday nights, and it's going to be a lot of fun. I have 21 students registered for the class, but only 16 showed up the first night. Tonight, only about 14... I hope the trend doesn't continue. Anyway, I just gave them surveys last week to find out their ability levels... everyone seems pretty good at english, so it makes my job easier! Now we can relax and play some games and enjoy the conversation side of things! Like tonight... we had a pretty good discussion about Halloween in America. THEN we played this awesome party game called Alibi. I won't go into the details or anything here, but basically, 3 people have to think up an airtight alibi about a crime while the rest of the class asks them nitpicky questions, trying to get one of them to slip up in the story. It worked VERY WELL. And was a lot of fun. (and made me miss all those group games that my sister and her friends would play. I LOVE YOU GUYS!!! *tear* :( ) The class is going to be great, though, I think. next week, we'll get more structured and crack down some actual conversation, but I had to win them over in the first few classes being super-genki Colin-san!!

Oh. Sunday, I climbed a mountain. And by climb, I mean hiked... hiked really steep trails over rocky terrain, but still. STILL. It was fun. I went with Kuroda-san and this School board/mountain climbing group. I was the youngest there by about, oh... 10 years. I think the average age had to have been about 50, and if you took me out, it raises to 60. I had no problem keeping up. ;) (I'm going to hate young upstarts like me when I get that age... now all I need is a porch, a lawn, and neighbor kids to yell at to stay off) At the top, we had a spectacular view of the active volcano right next to it. Unfortunately, it was raining, so all morning, we watched the clouds pour in and fill up the valleys. Not to mention, it was COLD. Basically, imagine this group sitting at the top of a mountain n the pouring rain with sack lunches huddled under raincoats, but smiling proudly. That was us. Though I did get to ride the ferry over to Nagasaki prefecture! That was neat! I guess 17 or 18 years ago, the volcano erupted and flooded the port town with lava, so while on the ferry, you're watching this mountain and seaside town get closer and closer, and you start to see the trails the lava would have taken. Pretty spectacular ("sugoi!" *sigh*), says I.

After that, a small group went out and had some Yakiniku (yaki-niku = "cooked/burnt - meat"). It's that type of restaurant where they give you all the raw stuff, and you grill it at your table. It was fun, and DELICIOUS!! ("Tottemo oish-katta desu!") Let's see.. other strange food I've tried. Oh! Sukiyaki. ("Suki = like," and yaki was covered earlier... can you figure it out??? (Hey, wait, I thought teacher-Colin went to bed!)) I finally had sukiyaki. Basically, you have a pan/hot plate thing in the middle of the table that you cook things in. Each person has a bowl that you crack an egg into... you mix the egg around... then, you chopstick out some stuff food the pan (yes, I used chopstick as a verb) and dip it in the raw egg... then... you eat it. Raw egg and all. Ok, at first, I was nervous, but it was actually quite good! There's a video that might be showing up soon that one of the other ALTs took of our first bites, so I'll keep you all posted, if you're interested in seeing us shove the stringy messes into our mouths. ;)

Ok, I think that about wraps up the major events of the week (or two). I'm getting excited to start Halloween lessons this week with the sannensei. Sadly, no costume for me, but eh. We'll have fun. :) And there's a rockin' ALT halloween party this weekend that is supposed to be one of the biggest events of the year. Man, I love Halloween (and I really wish Japan celebrated it more... dangit).

Things at school have been... good. I continue to love my ninensei classes, continue to feel awkward in my sannensei classes, and continue to feel annoyed/frustrated at my ichinensei classes. Such is the gamble that is the JTE. Ah well. C'est la vie! ("wtf, french now??" I know, I know. Shut up.)

Okay, fine. I'll rate.

Since I highly doubt any of them will magically stumble upon this blog, I've decided to give the skinny on the teaching situation I'm in... the good, bad, and ugly (you love cliches, and you know it). This, of course, comes after a particularly weird day...

So amidst the flurry of ramblings so far, you've probably gathered that things aren't always entirely peachy amongst my JTEs (refreshin' yer memory... 'japanese teachers of english,' or else my 'cooperating teachers'). Well, wait, lemme back up... amongst them, it's fine, since they rarely work together... I guess it's amongst me and them... and the support teachers. And not so much them... more me... because of them. See the "It's not my circus" post to get a sense of things...

Have I circle-talked enough? K. Well, basically, the scoop is that I work with three teachers: One for the ichinensei, one for the ninensei, and one for the sannensei. There's also a support teacher that "floats around" (more detail on the quotes later). I can safely say that 1 and a half of my 3 main teachers completely rock. 1 being the ninensei teacher. I love working with her. She's always got her head on, knows what's going on in the class, effectively teaches the english to the students, and does her very best to let me know what I need to do (AND SHE ACTUALLY USES ME AS MORE THAN A HUMAN TAPE RECORDER!!). She's amazingly hard working, and can usually be seen running in and out of the staff room with an arm load of folder bins, still managing to smile and say, "Hello!" as she dumps them off on her desk, only to turn around and toss some posters and a CD player at a line of students that have followed her in to help carry things back upstairs. Then off she goes again. I completely respect her as a teacher because she really seems to be in it for the students. And she's totally confident in her own ability, too... we actually have conversations outside of the required, "Ok, so for class 2-4 today, I would like you to..." The only complaint is that sometimes I feel like I let HER down, either by asking too many questions or taking up too much of her time.

Let's talk about the half, shall we? The sannensei teacher has good control of her classroom, it seems. She's always got a good plan in mind and usually implements it fairly well... even if I'm not necessarily included in this planning. The impression I get, though, is that she isn't confident in her english ability. Therefore, we rarely talk except for the usual dialogue above (I'm not retyping it... seriously, it's, like, 9 lines up there). Even if I don't always know what's going ON in the classroom (since she speaks mostly in Japanese to the students, other than a few routine phrases that shoot out every class period), I relax because I know she's got it under control. There have been a few times where she'll suddenly pass me the ball and I'll have no choice but to stand there blinking until I get sacked. One story comes to mind... I asked what we were doing for the next period, and she told me lesson 5-1. We get up to the room, go through the routine opening ("Hello everyone," "Hello, ___-sensei and Andy-s... uuhh... Mr. Sandall" "You're getting closer... Good morning, class."), and while the class is settling down, she looks at me, "I made mistake... we are doing 5-2 today." Oh... great. Ok, I can fake it... she won't throw random stuff at me, right? Wrong.

In retrospect, I should have realized that she'd want me to exercise the grammar point. I should have known that just by glancing at the book, I would have seen that the point was "His name is James, but his friends call him Jim." But since I'm still the new guy and still learning the way these teachers work and the way the books are set up... I was left with no choice but to have the following conversation in front of the class. "Mr. Sandall, what do you call MacDonalds in America?" "Umm... MacDonalds...?" And she just kinda stared at me, visibly thinking "Umm... crap... what do I say now?" She kinda smiled and tried again, "What do you call MacDonalds in America?" I reply more confidently this time, "It's just MacDonalds." Score, Colin. You TOTALLY got that one right! Again, the blank stare. She turned to a student and asked, "What do you call MacDonalds in Japan?" The student glanced at the book and said, "Oh! Eto... we call MacDonalds 'Mac.'"

I smashed my head against the door frame, trying hard not to laugh at my own idiocy. But the moment had passed. I knew the answer to every single question from that point on, but she never passed to me again for that period. :D Between classes, I could only laugh, shake my head, and apologize. She laughed, too, and said it was okay, since we didn't have time to talk about it. I said, "Yes, but in case you were wondering, in America, we CALL it MacDonalds. And we also CALL Kentucky Fried Chicken KFC. I understand now." And we laughed. But I nailed it that next period. (Congratulations, Colin, you just passed middle school esl.)

Anyway, we have a lot of miscommunications, but nothing terribly serious, and nothing that doesn't get sorted out within a few moments. ...which brings me to exhibit C.

This is the teacher I heard about before I set foot in the building. I had recieved a warning by way of Tim from the old ALT about this guy. Only I didn't realize how frightened I should be. I think at one point, I said, "I haven't seen enough evidence to really call him a bad teacher, per se..." well I take that back. I have. This guy is terrible. Sure, he's shown improvement over the time I've watched him, but not much, and he's still leaps and bounds behind the other staff. Speaking of other staff, remember the quotes from earlier? Told you they'd be back. The support teacher, the nicest lady in the world, "floats around," or at least she did last year. This year, she's been asked to go to every single ichinensei class to help teach. This teacher has had parents come to the school complaining about him, he's had the principal and the vice principal down his throat for as long as he's been there, and his inability to teach is what the support teacher told me one day was a "public secret." (And I really was completely serious when I said she was the nicest lady in the world.) All the other teachers know he's not good, but there's nothing anyone can really do about it.

So why all the hub bub? The guy speaks amazing english. Really, he does... he's probably tied for best english speaking teacher, if not actually having first place. Does that mean he's able to explain anything that much better? Oh, don't be silly! Of course not! Then that would be TOO easy! It's okay, though. To be fair to all languages, he can't explain much better in Japanese, either (The support teacher told me). He teaches out of order (how can they understand the dialogue if they haven't learned the grammar point yet?), he constantly misplaces things (leaving me to tap dance while he goes back to fetch his flash cards), he lacks control of his class, and even fears his students. I've seen students openly stand up to him in class and he does nothing... one student refused to work, and while he tried to get the student on task, the student simply gave him an insulting expression... this caused the teacher to do what any good teacher would do... er, wait, no... the... the opposite... my bad (I think someone flipped my note cards around). He just looked shocked, and turned around and went back to the front of the classroom angrily... He didn't say a word about it. In another class, I noticed a student was off task. Since I wasn't sure exactly what they were supposed to be doing (Nihongo ga wakarimasen, remember?), I pointed the student out. The teacher said to me, and I quote, "Oh... haha... yes. He should be working. You should tell him. I don't want to go back there. He... he sometimes makes fun of me."

I'll give you a few spaces to really let that one sink in.



Pick up the jaw and let's continue on. Anyway, routinely in class, the support teacher finds herself having to step in and reteach the lesson of the class. I can literally hear students going, "...ooooohhhhhhh....." when she finishes. Of course, this is after they've spent 10 minutes fumbling through a worksheet.

I suppose this post comes after a weird day... I had two ichinensei classes today, and both went terribly, and by that I mean "as usual." The teacher and the support teacher were all but fighting in front of the class while I stood off to the side being genki and happy, and continuing on in my little tap dance ("Not my circus... not my circus... not my circus..."). Later that afternoon during a free perioid, as I was trying to prep for my adult ekaiwa class tomorrow night (details later), they were in some sort of heated discussion in the staff room. I heard my name get dropped a few times, but didn't try to pick out any other words and just kept my head down. I went to the copy room to make some worksheets, and when I came back, the conversation had moved to my desk... they were standing at my desk, continuing the argument, and using my text book to point things out (it was the closest text book, which is why I assume they were at my desk... I hope... *gulp*). I found other projects to work on away from my desk and killed some time. I looked back about 5 minutes later and the vice principal had joined the fray... all still standing around my desk. Tell me that's not unnerving.

So about the time the period was over, they finally wrapped up the conversation and I was able to get back to the safety of my little metal fortress. But still... I wasn't able to talk to either of them the rest of the day, so I don't know what went down... nor do I think I want to know what went down. Just smile, nod, be happy, do your job, and all will be well. :)

Ok, so, aside from all this rambling, I don't want you to get me wrong. I completely love it here. Sure, there are some downsides, but that's the hazards of the job, I suppose. Every ALT has a "that guy" at their school, so I'm in good company. We all just manage and enjoy the fact that we're in freaking Japan.

...and marathon Scrubs on days off...

KYOTOSAKA EXTRAVAPALOOZAGANZA!!!

Strap yourselves in, folks. I hope you ate and have cleared your schedules for the afternoon, because this one's a doozy. (Edit: Sorry, I can't get the pictures and captions to line up... basically, if it's on the left, it goes with the left picture. Right, it goes with the right picture. "Thanks, Colin... I think we could have figured that one out." Hey, you don't know what type of people read my blog...)


Oh man. OH. MAN. Wow. I just had an awesome weekend. What, you say? It's Friday again? I know, I know. Give me a break. Got back on Wednesday afternoon and was too burned out to do anything productive... and then I hit a busy patch for a couple days, but now, here I am! I don't want to make this post too disgustingly long, so I'll touch on the high points and throw in some pictures... if you want details, you've gotta ask. :D (To make the pictures bigger, click on them)

So, for those who have read this far and are still going, "what the heck is he rambling on about? This is stranger than usual..." I just got back from 5 day trip to Kyoto and Osaka with Tim and Kana. See, ALTs have this thing where we can only work 20 days a month. October had 22 working days, so we're required to take 2 days off... Tim and I swung it to get those on the end of an already 3 day weekend (since the students were on break and we'd have to go to work, anyway), and then planned this massive vacation. Go, team! It worked out nicely because they both have friends in Osaka and Kyoto. But you know what else is in Kyoto?

Temples. Shrines. Classic Japan. The exact reason I wanted to go. Call me a nerd, but I'm into that history stuff. I've heard a lot of people say they are bored of that stuff, or that they got sick of Kyoto, but I don't think I could ever.

So, Day 1. We headed off from Ozu at about 1:15 to catch the 1:45 train into the city and connect with our 2:55 tickets to Fukuoka... in Fukoka, we connected with... THE SHINKANSEN!!! Bullet train, yo!! Yes. It IS fast. Not as blazingly "OMG WTF" fast as I was hoping, but still, a nice change from the local trains. We got into Kyoto and grabbed a couple more local trains, finally meeting Ben at about 8:00. (Ben is the friend of Kana and Tim's whose house we'd be invading for our time there)













Shinkansen fun!

The stairs in this house are scarily steep...

We went out for some dinner and some conversation and pretty much had an awesome time of it. Afterwards, we opted to take an easy night before hitting Kyoto and so rented a movie and hung out at Ben's. (Sukiyaki Western Django... weird, weird, weird movie... but strangely awesome)

Day 2. Ben swore by some shrine that had big orange gates, and remembering a little about it, we figured it would be as good a place as any. So we headed to Fushimi-inari shrine ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fushimi_Inari-taisha ). Basically, it was a lot of walking up a mountain, but there were plenty of things to see. Massive orange gates, little orange gates, medium sized orange gates... basically, if you hate the color orange, stay away (in fact, don't even come to Kyoto... Orange seems to be a famous color, I guess). The path was peppered with shrines and such that people stopped and prayed at ("Throw donation, pull rope to ring the bell, clap twice, pray, leave... repeat at next shrine"). Very very cool. And even funnier that Ben accidentally color coordinated with the gates. (Look on facebook or photobucket for that photo)












Ooo, look at the gates.
1000 of these little ones...

You could buy little gates to write things on
and then leave them at shrines along the way...

After this, we went to Higashi-honganji temple. ( http://www.japan-guide.com/e/e3920.html <-- This is a fantastic website about Japan) It's a temple that's literally right in the middle of Kyoto. Kind of neat in that it was massive and had some amazing architecture... but unfortunately, they didn't allow photos of the interior. It was just a large tatami room, anyway. It was still cool to hang out in there and wonder about people in it over the hundreds of years it's been around... Oh, the main building was being renovated, so the outside was covered... but we gained access through Amida Hall, the smaller (but still huge) building next to it. Not a lot of pictures, though.

Ta-daa!! This is the entry gate.

You wash your hands in this... and Ben's picking it's nose.

After that, we went and found some dinner after wandering back through Kyoto Station (oh my gosh, it was massive AND amazing! Especially at night!) and decided to go to the top of Kyoto tower. I got some good night shots from there, so that's always a plus. After that, a quick trip through the gift shop (where I bought a keitai charm... this little dude that hangs off my keitai (cell phone)) and we headed back to Ben's to get some sleep for...

Day 3. Ben had to go to class, so Kana, Tim, and I were on our own for the morning. Since the Kyoto Imperial Palace site was close to the school, we decided to start there. ( http://www.japan-guide.com/e/e3917.html ) Much to our chagrin, however, it was closed because it was a national holiday (Sports and Education Day, or something... what?). Though we did get to take some pictures from the outside. Not too many. It was kind of neat wandering around the area, though. The massive gravel paths lining the walls were cool, and the whole area was in a park. We did manage to see some cooler parts of it, though...

One of the gates leading into the main palace portion.

After this, we headed over to maybe the second coolest place we saw: Kinkakuji, or "The Golden Pavillion." ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kinkakuji ) This. Place. ROCKED. It's a temple that was built a long time ago and was plated with gold leaf. There's a cool photo spot across the lake from it (The "Post card shot.") but then you follow the path to go right up next to it and realize that EVERYTHING is a "Postcard shot." It was very crowded, but the path was set up to where the mass of people didn't get in the way of the experience. Enough of my jabbering. here's some pictures.

Look, ma. I've turned into a 15 year old japanese girl. :(

They even have gold plated rain gutters. How posh!

After this, we met back up with Ben and decided on another place to go check out. We headed for what I later found out was recently voted the top visitor's destination in Kyoto, and is well deserving of it's #1 place on my favorite spots: Kiyomizu-dera, "Pure Water Temple." ( http://www.japan-guide.com/e/e3901.html ) Maybe it was the fact it was sunset, or maybe it was the location, but this place was amazing. You start off with a walk up the winding roads below through shops and throngs of people, while the whole time there is a massive pagoda staring you down from the distance in the trees. Finally, you get there. Lots of cool, old buildings, lots of shrines and good luck charms, lots of amazing views of Kyoto on the horizon... Not to mention the place is famous for it's terrace, a rather impressive structure to both stand on and look at from a distance... again, words don't do this one justice... and neither do these pictures, but let me try.

Again with the orange?
This pagoda was what was looming in the distance.

The balcony. Incredible. You really
have to be there to understand why. :D

After this, we headed to a smaller part of town and hung out in this cool shrine/park type place for a little while. Then we headed to the Gion district to try and spot an apprentice geisha (no luck :( ) and ended up hanging out in front of this classic theatre for about an hour just talking. We voted for some pizza for dinner ("Pizza Little Party" won out over Pizza Hut) and called it a night.

On Day 4, we pretty much got up and headed into Osaka. We left Ben (*tear*) at the train station to go to class, and jumped on the subway line to get into town. After spending some time deciding what to do on the rainy day, we opted to first and foremost buy some cheap little umbrellas. Secondly, we headed to the Osaka Aquarium! ( http://www.japan-guide.com/e/e4004.html ) It's a cool aquarium that you start at the top of, and then spiral down around the main tank in the middle. It was about half things I'd seen at the Henry Doorly Zoo, but about half were brand new animals!! Live!! ("I'm a big fan of your previous work... as a cub...") I'll spare the pictures on this one, but I finally got to see a manta ray (The thing seriously had about an 8 foot wingspan) and a whale shark! Sugoi!!

After spending the day there and also wandering around parts of down town, we found ourselves headed to meet Shiro-chan, one of Kana's good friends, to show us around for the night. But first, a quick stop by the Glico sign in the shopping district of Osaka. I guess it's a pretty famous sign that everyone gets their picture taken next to. Eh, when in Rome... But overall, the area was fantastic. Lots of huge billboards and advertisements that spared no expense. And somehow, it managed to preserve that "Japan" feeling. After this, meet Shiro-chan, check into our hotel, and then head off to Rock Rock, a great metal club.

By this point, I was running out of room on my camera, so I didn't get a lot of pictures... not that there was a ton to take a picture of. Though I guess the highlight (and one of the last pictures I managed to fit in) was that a member of Slipknot was also at the club. This club was about the size of 1 and a half dorm rooms and about 30 people were crammed in at one time... looming over the crowd, of course, was me and the Slipknot guy (...and his scary bodyguard...). I snagged a few pictures and even got to shake his hand on his way out, but I really didn't know who he was (since... ya know... Slipknot wears masks... and I'm not an avid fan... only a casual one). I did some research, though, and found out it was Mick, the lead guitarist (and guy with the coolest looking mask).

Anyway, the club/party was amazingly fun... and we stayed out amazingly late (don't tell Mom...). But wait, you say. Did you mention Hotel, Colin? Why yes! Yes I did! To be even more touristy, we opted to stay in... wait for it... wait for it...

A capsule hotel!!

Surprisingly roomy, amazingly comfortable, and an excitingly fun experience! If what you needed wasn't in your room (as in showers and food...) you could just throw on your jinbei and lounge around in the lavish dining area or head to the private showers! Seriously, if we'd been there a few more days, I would have had no problem staying here again and again.

But unfortunately, Day 5 brings about the end of the trip. Because of the way the train tickets worked out, we couldn't really work in Kobe (bummer) so we just opted for an early return and an evening to relax. All in all, a fantastic trip. I'm very glad I went, and actually kind of sad that I didn't gte to spend more time there. We saw less than half of what Kyoto has to offer, and I feel we only scratched the surface of Osaka... but there is much more to see and many more places in Japan to visit. But slowly... very slowly... I am working on complete "Japanification" of myself. In fact, just check out these souvenirs I bought!

SIZE 30 GETA!! THOSE SHOES!! THEY ARE SIZE 30!! Do you have ANY IDEA how hard it is to find size 30 shoes in Japan, LET ALONE GETA???